Tuesday, May 31, 2005

I should be working out right now.

Gilad is on Fit TV and I'm blogging and reading knit blogs, instead. Doesn't matter, I'll run the 4 miles required for marathon training today.

Neighbors are having roof work done and the conveyor belt squeeks like a deaf mouse. I hate high pitched noises and want to beat the workers with a can of WD40 while screaming "Do you NOT hear the noise? FIX IT."

Yep, premenstral. I hate to be a cliche', but sometimes, the stereotypes are true.

Weight: I'm afraid to weigh after the debauchery of the weekend. I'll do it on the official day, Friday.

Yarn: Working on a lovely Red Heart Light and Lofty blanket for the Fry. She loves it, it's a wave pattern on size 16s. Wonderfully washable, warm, and blends in with her room decor. I'm not one for really garish colors. No orange paired with purple, no lime green unless it's in a yellow/orange/lime citrus motif. I'm looking forward to finishing up the blanket, if only because I've been practicing American style knitting and have gotten good at it. Plus, I'm a lot faster with it and look forward to Continental style, which is even faster than that. :D Yay!

Plans for today: Cleaning house, playing with Frybaby, and Royals baseball game tonight. They're playing the Yankees. Forced sitting means happy knitting.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Thanks to my weight obsession, Calorie King had all of my journal entries between the last update in 2003 on here and today's update. So, for your insomniac cures, here it is, 2004 in a nutshell:

Monday , December 1st 2003
Food Total: 739 cals
Net Calorie Total: 739 cals
Can you believe it? With all the feasting and letting the food thing slide during November, this is my start weight for the month of December. Chocolate chips, Chinese food, Mexican food, pumpkin pie, and still, 154 today. NOW, I'm happy it's an effort to lose weight, because it takes the same amount of effort to gain it back.
I want to hit the gym today, but am so tired from yesterday's driving. Then, I'd had two Red Bulls to keep me awake and I did stay awake. Until 4:00am. Up at 8:00am to get the child to school, then catching up on phone calls and emails this morning. I have to make sure I have materials for class this evening, plus I really must clean up the house. Yech. It's not bad, just dusty and cluttered. I also need a shower, before I go workout of course.
I heard from my guy over the holiday. He misses us, but the Army fed them all a turkey dinner. It was pretty good, so that was great.

Tuesday , December 2nd 2003
Oh, man has my brain hurt today. Nothing worked on my headache, it's just now started to fade. I'm all tense and could use a shoulder and neck massage to loosen the knots. The Midrin has a sedative, but that's still not completely effective.
Yesterday and today was a wash, ate chocolate chips, then Long John Silver's tonight. Bad, even if I couldn't finish the entire platter. I couldn't work out today, just walking made my blood pound in the veins. Did the blood pressure cuff while getting more meds tonight and my pulse rate was in the 80's. So not good, since usually it's in the 60's.
If I weren't in pain, I'd miss the gym even more than I do now. Really want to go, but the headache is too much. I miss the weightlifting and am worried about losing my stairclimbing levels. Oh well.
In other news, heard from my beloved yesterday. What a wonderful surprise for him to call. I love that man. Really loved hearing from him and hearing his voice. Can't believe it's going to be nearly a year before I see him again. It'll be a month tomorrow since he's been gone. He might get to come back to Orlando for a conference in a few months, if that's the case, the child and I are there. Even a few days with him will be great.
I so want to be at 110 when he gets back, must must must get back on the diet and exercise track. I haven't been making excuses or reasons why to eat, I've just been eating as I want. That's got to stop.

Monday , December 15th 2003
Ug. I'm faaaaat!
LOL because it's about time! A person can't eat batch upon batch of cookies and not have SOMETHING happen. I'm up two pounds. That's cool, because I can lose it with just a little work. Yesterday, I shoveled the driveway just in time for the warm snap today. Today, I can feel every muscle I haven't worked out during December. Bad bad!!
So this morning I had my usual yogurt, accidentally missed lunch but had a salad at night, then had scrimp scampi for dinner. Did I totally blow a good day by eating a couple of butter cookies? Probably, but I had a good reason for seeing if they were still good. That's it, though. Two, and a bunch more are there on the counter, and I really don't want any more. I think the need for sweets is over. Having a month off (and I mean REALLY off) once a year won't ruin me. Just as long as I hop back on the bandwagon.
October and November were sort of break months, too, but while I didn't log anything, I still didn't eat what I wanted when I wanted during that time. The two lax months, then hedonistic December has done wonders for my morale. I'm so ready for the first school day in January! As soon as the child is on the bus, I'm having a small yogurt and a large bottle of water, then hitting the gym. Of course, my performance will be horrible compared to the last time I worked out, but oh well! Nowhere to go but up!
This week, I'm cleaning house like a fiend for Christmas company. Then, the next two, nearly three weeks, my child is home from school for winter break. I'd rather get a clean house, and be active with my child than do time in a gym during this time. After this break, I'll start seriously training for the German Army PT test at Leavenworth. One of the Colonels at the Unit Christmas party brought over a Sergeant Major who'd completed the test and has a medal on his uniform. No, I can't get one, I'm not active duty, but while hubby is in Kuwait, he and I can train and compare notes on our progress. It'll be fun. Something to bind us across the miles, like our love and family life isn't enough, LOL!
Must make plans for tomorrow's tasks....

Friday , January 2nd 2004
Food Total: 1122 cals
Exercise Total: 739 cals
Net Calorie Total: 383 cals
Oh My God. 162. And here I was, doing so well at 155. Yucka. No wonder the 10's were tight. I'm freakin' fat.
Ok, so, back to the grind. Actually, I'm looking forward to the discipline already. I've made out the menus for this week, good, and if there weren't a Star Trek marathon today, I'd be out shopping right now. Oh well. It'll get done later today. Plus, I have the new, improved housecleaning list and I'm so not close to being done. I've worked on cleaning for an hour today, and there's yet another hour left to do, at least.
I've discovered a new website, something about Flylady, a person could Google if they really wanted. It is a home organization site and has been very helpful so far. I'm slowly modifying my life to be better in many ways.
Word of the day-ahlan wa SAHlan, Arabic for 'Hello'
Yesterday's was nam, Arabic for 'yes'

Sunday , January 4th 2004
Food Total: 631 cals
Net Calorie Total: 631 cals
Here's something new and improved. I've downloaded a program called DietPower that's cool. I've used it in the past, but didn't feel comfy paying $40+ for it. I've been so good at CK, though, that I'm tempted to plunge ahead and keep dual records. Why? Because DP is great for being offline, I can enter my recipes (very important since I do tons of gourmet cooking), has more activities in their database, and most of all, it uses my calories eaten, used, and current weight to calculated a customized metabolic rate. I do like CK for the community, and the information too. DP isn't up to date unless there's an enhancement to the program. That's a limitation. Something else I do happen to like about DP is that the water intake is customizable and it gives me a nutrient chart. I'll have to see if it has the measurements storage, too.
In other news, we're socked in with ice, thanks to a storm that moved through last night. Yay. The only provision we need is kitty litter.
I binged so bad last night!!! About six Hersey kisses, but that's not the worst of it. You know that CK recipe for Chicken Artichoke salad? I take half that, mix it with iceberg lettuce before adding the French Dressing, then eat. Only last night, I'd had leftover so I had two servings. I suppose, as far as binges go it's not bad, but still. I was sooo hungry that I couldn't resist. I logged it in DP but not CK. Need to do that.
Hubby called this morning. Once the debts are paid (and who doesn't have them), we're saving for household upgrades. Very cool! I'll be able to get a professional grade stove, if all goes well.
I finished the commissioned afghan and will drop it off on Saturday. It's absolutely beautiful and I'm getting pictures before then. I've started a new organizational system that's working wonders. Don't know if I mentioned it already...think I have. At any rate, it's fabulous. I'm trying not to stress if I can't do everything all at once and perfectly, as is my desire. Things are getting done and the house is looking cleaner all the time. I'm not going to log housework as a workout any more, since Fit TV is on the air. I just need to make sure I'm working out to it. Once I get back into the habit of eating properly, like most of last year, then I'll work out properly, THEN start a new diet.
What is it? It's the Gastric Bypass diet! Don't know if I already journaled this, but... I thought about the people who undergo the surgery and thought why do it when all a person really has to do is stick to the diet. I know, easier said than done, but if I can wean myself from uncontrolled eating to controlled, then from controlled to restricted, then I can bump back up to controlled. That's where everyone should be anyway, instead of on a 'diet'. If a person can control their finances, control their household cleaning, control their appearance, why NOT control their eating? Be uncontrolled somewhere else where it counts, like...the bedroom maybe? } <-evil grin
With hubs away, of course I'll need to find something else for the uncontrolled thing. If I want to stay out of trouble, that is. Maybe something that a lack of control would be productive, like exercise or activity outdoors. Knitting professionally (not buying yarn, that's already semi-uncontrolled), writing screenplays, cleaning house, stuff like that. I'll have to make a list...
The word for the day is still "ahlan wa salan" until I can say it without goofing and saying "ahwan al salan" instead. The second is probably a curse, my luck being what it is. Now that I've written this, I'll have to look it up.
Ciao for now. I have an apple to eat.

Sunday , February 29th 2004
Oh my! I haven't updated in forever! Well, forget about the gastric bypass diet for now, I'm doing good just to stick to 1200 a day and usually go over. I'll balance it out by working extra hard on cleaning house. Carrying plastic tubs of genealogy paperwork and Army manuals is pretty darn exhausting.
On the other hand, I'm back at the gym, and went three times last week. When I couldn't work out due to the flu (all through Feb), I hopped on our little trampoline here in the kitchen. It's a little way from the fridge so I have to walk past it to get to the food. Also, they have the coolest thing on Time Warner cable, it's Fit TV. I feel like I've mentioned this, but.... Love that Bodies in Motion with Gilad. I remember when it used to be tough, now all that's tough is the coordination I don't have.
Working out progress: Bench presses are up to 3 reps of 160lbs, leg presses are still 3 sets of 10 at 360lbs and those are tough. I can only run one mile at 12 minutes. Sometimes it's at 11 minutes and some odd seconds, but usually, it's 12. My bod would be fantastic if I could just lose the body fat. Ah well. As hard as it is for me to gain, I'll just have to be patient with how hard it is for me to lose.
What else is going on? Hubby is fine. I hear from him every Sunday and it's wonderful to hear his voice. I'm crazy about the guy and look forward to having him home. The child is great. Of course, on Sunday, I'm glad she's going to school the next day, then by Thursday I want her to stay home on Friday because I miss her so much.

Thursday , June 24th 2004
Guess what the cat dragged (or is that drug?) in! It's been for-freakin-ever since I posted a journal entry, and I'm thinking about letting my CK subscription lapse. It's not like I get a heck of a lot of community support, but then, I don't tend to offer any, either. I'd post and mostly be 'passed over' and not bother to get back into it.
I've been logging my foods in a software program that allows me to enter in my own recopies, something I really needed. I'd suggested the feature to CK, but was pretty much ignored. Also, the meal selections were the same things over and over, and after six months of eating the same dishes... ug. I'd suggested that they add those wonderful new recopies in their library to their meal plans. Of course, no one jumped on THAT wonderful idea. (wonderful is sarcastic)
So anyway. I still had my Perfect Woman Goals going on, doing the daily checklist, then found something called Flylady and am doing that. Various family members look 'down' on me for needing a list to get things done, but I seriously think I have ADD, adult version. (I go from cabaña boy to cabaña boy). The list and 'Fly'ing helps keeps me focused. After my cleaning routines were in place and a habit, I worked on my PWGs schedule. I wrote out a perfect day, like 4:30am, Wake up and drink coffee, 5:00am-work out with Bodies in Motion on FitTv. After that is breakfast, shower, hair and makeup, cleaning, running for an hour, (working on this one, it's only 30 minutes so far), rinse off, errands, lunch, cleaning, dinner, family time. The whole time frame is geared to where no one can give me that "You're dog poo," look and say, "*I* was up at 4:30," which to me implies that whoever wasn't up at that time is a lazy slug not worth their food. It also doesn't allow the Child's schoolwork to fall through the cracks. I hate being reminded about things that I've forgotten, makes me feel like a 'bad mom'. A 'good' parent doesn't forget permission slips and school picture money payments, now DO they.
Let's get on to the food, exercise, and weight part. Gag. I'm still working on the pond area from last summer, sort of. Now, it's mostly planting, putting in a flowerbed border, and finishing up the stone patio. Hubby was the one to do the patio this summer, but the Army decided he needed a Kuwait vacation. Since then, I've been mowing since last summer, and then have painted the interior of our home. Two rooms and a couple of foyers down, three rooms to go. Between those two activities, I can run 2 miles in 24 minutes and bench press 180lbs. I was surprised by the 2 miles thing, and blown away by the 180. I'd hoped for 1 mile and 150. The food has been good and bad. When it's good, it's very good, when it's bad, it's awful. It's a constant struggle. I'm afraid of eating, but once I start, I'm so hungry I just eat and eat. Also, I couldn't purge because my capillaries around my eyes burst and look awful. Don't know how bulimics do it, I just think about barfing and my eyes puff. Thus, food is the enemy, a necessary evil. I'm starting a healthy/low cal way of eating that I'm hoping will take.
I log my food and activities every day in DP. I don't have to go online to do this, and it allows me a calorie bank. That's good if I have 'cals' in the bank, bad if I've gone over. I try to 'earn' my food every day by if I go over my budget of 1300, I have to work off the excess. One snack of 100 calories or less is allowed, but that's it. To me, 1300 is a lot, since I spent most of the first of the year trying to keep my calories at 800, but even with that, I've not lost anything, so if I can eat 1300 without gaining.... It'll keep me from binges, at least. I did pretty good right up until after dinner, keeping the calories at 500 for the day, but then at 10:00pm, I'd get so hungry my stomach would hurt. When I was a kid, I could eat everything I wanted and never gain. I'm still a little that way, but I also never lose. If working out every morning and running 30 minutes to an hour three times a week while limiting my calories to 1300 or lower doesn't work... I suppose working out twice a day, running even more, and cutting down the calories further? I don't know, this will just have to work.
Enough. I need to work on decluttering the Child's room. She has every toy she's ever owned in her nearly 9 years of life. I put so much work into hauling bags of pebbles and sand (5 50lbs bags) and 6 flat rocks, then placing them in the patio, that I'm feeling very lazy! One energy drink and I'll be back 'in', I'm sure.

Tuesday , June 29th 2004
Official counts:
1396 cals in-26% Fat, 28% Protein, 45% Carbs
127 cals out
Ok, I did it. I signed on for another year. I like reading some of the journals and living vicariously, I suppose.
So anyway, went crazy over the weekend, meaning if I was hungry, really tummy growling hungry, I ate. Usually, I just think to The Gut, "You had the meal less than three hours ago, knock off the "I'm starving," routine." Yeah, it's strange, but it's mind over matter, my mind's trying to control my matter.
A thing to be proud of: Every weekday since June 21st, I've woke up at 4:30am, had some coffee, then worked out to Bodies in Motion on FitTv. This is a major thing, since I'm a night owl from birth.
Is it just me or does anyone else see a problem with fast food joints taking credit cards? I know, it's for the debit card people, but still... the potential for food abuse/credit abuse is there. Maybe Michael Moore will do a movie called Bankrupt for Big Macs.
Have to admit, when I do go over or eat something not on my daily menu, I feel bad. Like breaking a promise to myself. Also, it's disgusting, like I have no control over my appetite. Which I probably don't. I can tell, though, that my appetites have changed. I feel better when hungry or a little hungry, than I do when full or nearly over full. A very good development.
The female stuff started today, which is why I had the carbo-cravings like mad and haven't been motivated to clean house beyond the dishes/bedmaking/ general pickup stuff chores today. It's 9, which is bedtime if I want to wake up at 4:30.

Wednesday, June 30th 2004
Today, kids, we discuss the brain and how sometimes it wants to secede from the union. Yep, it's a migraine day. Even so, I did my wake up at 4:30, then worked out at 5:00am. I'm so thrilled with myself for keeping this going. Even if I do nothing else, I've done that.
So it's been a lazy day. There's been a slight load of laundry done, some dishes, and I fixed all three meals for myself. Between the phone ringing and the doorbell ringing, no constant naps were taken. I did nod off due to the migraine meds, and need to run off to bed now. One, because I want 4:30 to be an easy wake up, and two, because I have a bad case of the munchies.
the counts:
1320 cals in (270 worth of animal crackers, I had a sugar craving)
127 cals out
budget was a net of 1323
I'm hoping I have more motivation to do more. Right now, it's just not there.

Wednesday, July 14th 2004
What was I saying??? I have no idea. Also, don't know how the time flew.
Ok, I've been doing well, even though I've not logged stuff in CK but in DP instead. Average calories for June was 1783(!!!!) in, which can't be right, but probably is. There was a chicken fried steak in there, plus some sweets, ice cream, all that. I'm doing good, currently, though. The main thing is that this is week four of waking up at 4:30am, working out at 5:00am, then running on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays. There's some tweaks, like this week, I couldn't sleep until midnight last night, so I woke up at 4:30, but then passed out, and did the workout at 9:00am instead. Plus, I didn't run on Monday. I had to wait around for the exterminator to call, and by the time 5pm rolled around, I was too hot and tired from cleaning out the basement. It's a cat hair-infested pit down there, and all I wanted to do after 6pm was shower, eat a little dinner (carefully measured Chinese take out) and watch Law & Order SVU before bed.
So on Monday, I was 155, which is a new low this month. There was a Chinese food sale at the local grocery, so I knew that Tuesday would show the soy water weight gain, and sure enough. 158. Then, after eating Chinese food Tuesday, I wasn't expecting much today, but came in at 157. Exactly the same as I was a year ago. Considering that last month's average calories were 500 above what they should have been, I'm happy about the 157. Could be better, but has been worse.
This week and next are going to be good calorie burning weeks. I really must get a few more rooms painted before hubby comes home for a visit in August (yay!!!). Plus, now that we're entering the hot/dry part of summer, finally, I can do a close mowing and be done with that for several weeks at a time. During the spring, I was mowing twice a week, which was great, since it's not a self-propelled mower. With the slight hills and size of the yard, it keeps my heart rate in the 60% range for at least 90 minutes.
Yesterday at the gym was way cool. I'm going back to the gym, finally, to time my two mile runs and to keep me honest on increasing time and distance. I can do a two mile run in 22:00. Yay! When I started running again, a year ago, two miles in 30 minutes was an accomplishment, and usually, I only did a mile or a mile and a half. Ok, so it's not a whole lot, an 11 minute mile, not to the guys at Runner's World, but considering my lack of endurance, it's great to me.
Well, now I need to see how much damage the Awesome Appetizer at the Rainforest Cafe did to me. I'd had no breakfast, and am still way too full to have dinner and it's after 5:00. Usually I don't do the one meal a day thing, but had a doctor's appointment an hour and a half from my home. I'd rather skip than do anything to replace a meal. At one point, I had a whole crowd of kids around my table, since I was in front of the elephants. (that's not good, now that I think about it) Had to put down the chicken strip because I felt icky eating in front of them. After the elephants quit moving and the kids dispersed, then I started chowing down again. So much for that 'out of the traffic' table I'd asked for and not got. Bleh. Adopting the motto of "Thou shalt not masticate in public" would be very helpful to my daily calorie count. Oh, and THEN, my name was wrong in the B. Dalton's database. It was "Larda,” my pet name for myself when I don't want to go any more on the treadmill (usually after 2 minutes I want to quit, then don't if I wait until 5). Sometimes I'll think, "Oh, go ahead, eat that cookie, LAR-DA. Just don't whine if you can't wear clothes and breathe at the same time."
I'm kinda thrilled, tomorrow is a run and weight lift day! Yeah, I'll do the Bodies in Motion, just like always, on the weekday mornings, and then do the run and lift part at the gym on MWF's or in this case TTHSat's. Since yesterday was a beat the clock run, tomorrow's is going to be a how far can you go in 30 minutes without stopping or slowing. I didn't weightlift yesterday, since I knew I'd be carrying a small steam cleaner up and down stairs, plus moving heavy stuff. Tomorrow, though, I'm kicking butt. Maybe. I mean, I have three bookshelves to move down two floors, four or five boxes of books to move with them, then I need to move a small fridge up a flight of stairs. All of a sudden, I feel like taking a nap.....

Friday , July 16th 2004
Someone get a cattle prod, because I really need the boost.
Check in day today, of course, and am I at my weekly low? Of course not. I've been as low as 155 this week, but on Friday, of course I'm at 157.
I pigged out yesterday, but was so hungry in a tummy hurting and growling sort of way. I also didn't do my 5:00am workout but have a good reason (if that's possible, I'm not sure it is). 'Something' woke me up at 2:45am, and I went to check the television, seeing lightening outside. I was a bit surprised to see my county in a tornado warning, since the sirens weren't sounding. They did, about 30 minutes later, then again 30 minutes after that. By the time 5:00am rolled around, I was too concerned about the 90mph winds and potential for golf ball sized hail to change the channel from local news.
So was it an excuse to miss the 9am workout that I could have made up? Was I being a weasel? I don't know, because I'm feeling seriously weary. Yeah, there was a bit of a nap between 6 and 8:30 this morning. That makes about 6 and a half hours of sleep.
Otherwise, I've done the 5 am or 9am workout Monday thru Thursday as planned, did the running two miles on Tuesday and Thursday, with Thursday's being 2.5 miles in 30 minutes. Neither time did I have to stop to catch my breath, something that's a really positive development.
Yesterday, I binged big time on cheesecake, and you know, it wasn't as good as I'd thought it would be. I'm seriously going to reconsider just how much I want it the next time a craving comes up. The PB&J sandwich for breakfast this morning was a lot more satisfying. Usually, I have an egg with toast and 4 oz of orange juice, but hadn't done dishes last night and was too lazy to do so this morning. Maybe I'll just goof off this morning, then hit housecleaning hard this afternoon. I still have some heavy objects to move around the house, a small fridge to move upstairs and three tall bookcases two floors down to the basement.
I'm so sleepy! Think I'll take some pep me up vitamins and nap until they take effect.

Saturday , July 17th 2004
The office computer desk I wanted thrown out is dismantled and awaiting bulky item pickup day. Not a big deal unless you consider that I had to haul it downstairs to the garage. Then, I took the tall bookcase out of the foyer and put it in the basement, then filled it up with books. Then, I carried the small fridge up the stairs.
There's a lot more to do, but the heavy stuff is done for now.
I've been binging on sugar free popsicles. It's ok, unless you eat 5 in one day. Ooops. I suppose that's better than the Olive Garden and all you can eat fettuccini alfredo...
I *ought* to go run my usual two miles, but would really rather spend the time either cleaning house or mowing the lawn. It's going to take 90 minutes at a minimum and gets my heart rate up to 65%.
The weight is good, it's at 155, which is a loss. That's so cool.

Sunday , July 18th 2004
I love it when I get things accomplished. The front and back yards are mowed, and what I'd really like to do is get a new weed trimmer, one that will help me get the job done. Currently, the string breaks on the old one so often that most of the time is spent fixing it instead of trimming.
Hubby's coming home!!! The General signed off on his R & R, he even went to Camp Dojah (Dough-ha) to be briefed on how to come home. LOL! He's currently at Camp Arifjan, and has been for the past 9 months. The house and surrounding yard isn't perfect, but I'm sure it'll look perfect to him. Part of it is getting that little fridge I mentioned yesterday full of his favorite drink. I have just barely a month to get everything done, and if I kick it, I can probably get one large, one medium, and two small rooms painted in here, just in time for him to come home. My sister is having surgery on the 28th, so I'd like to get it done, or be done with some of it, by the 25th.
There's some light cleaning to be done around here before I can knock off for the evening, plus I want to be in bed by 9:00 for the 4:30 wake up. I so want to go to Red Lobster for one of their low carb dinners, since I have some protein to make up for today. The budget is about 1300, I've burned up 449 just by mowing, have eaten or drunk 789 calories, so there's a leftover of 900 calories. I'd like to build up my calorie bank, of course, for the Outback, Rainforest Cafe, Tequila Harry's, and Jade Garden, all of which we'll probably go to for hubby's sake. They have a chow hall over there, even had steak and lobster for Independence Day, but still, over here, it's reasonably fresh. Of course, I'm going to be careful and count the calories, but it'd be nice to have a build up so that I don't freak when I go over.
Ok, I'm starving. Better go because not only that, but I'm also very sleepy and want to get a few things done before bedtime.

Friday , July 23rd 2004
This is the week where my stomach is a bottomless pit and every molecule of water I take in stays in. So, 158 is my new 'fat' weight. Next month, I'm hoping 155 will be. I've learned that just because I watch what I eat and exercise, it doesn't mean I'll lose weight.
I care, but I'm tired of caring. I'm sick to death of juggling calories, carbs, and proteins and feeling guilty over every bite I take. For this, I've set up a weekly menu that lists what to eat and when, just so there's no guesswork. I'm just going to eat whatever I want with the rule that the portions must be small enough that I'm almost full when the meal is done. Another rule is the NO food after dinner one. Absolutely none. I do good right up until 8:00pm and get really hungry for a snack. Three or four 'lite' popsicles later....
On the exercise front, I'm good AND bad. Have been doing the 5:00am workout 5 days out of 7, which is the goal. But, since this is the week of massive water. I'm not running and don't have the energy to. Isn't that awful? I did run a mile on Tuesday, and that was hard to get through. It could be, too, that it's so hot and humid here, running is tough to 'push' through. Since I've not done that, carrying tubs of sorted toys and other bulky items around the house has had to substitute for gym time. This is great and much more productive than gym time.
Speaking of time, I have a laundry list of things to get done today, and journaling isn't getting them done.

Saturday , July 31st 2004
You'd think with DSL I'd be journaling up a storm, but no. My sister is in the hospital, now has a fever, plus with hubby coming home in nearly two weeks, I've been busy running around. Household improvement professionals have been trooping through for estimates, the parents visited for a couple of days, my child is back home from her grandparents, so we're all trying to get it together.
I've still been working out most mornings at 5am. My goal is 5 days a week, no matter what days those are. Probably once school starts, I'll make the gym a habit, too. It's easier when the child is in school.
The eating has been up, just because I can. That's gotta stop, though. I've made a menu for the next three weeks and it'll rotate. If I stick to that and keep the eating out to the barest minimum, I'll be fine. Eating out gets me because I can't count or control the calories like when I cook at home. I've made healthy choices whenever possible, like potato and salad at Wendy's instead of burger and fries. There was some soft serve ice cream yesterday, but no donuts for breakfast. I do the treat thing once every other day or so and am trying to get rid of it entirely.
30 minutes three times a day is doing wonders for my figure. I've not lost a lot in weight or inches, but look thinner, so go figure. I feel more toned, at any rate. The sister's health problems have been so stressful for me that I've been sleeping in until 6:30-7:00 some days instead of eating. I'm not happy about that, would rather do neither, but something had to give. Better to work out at 9 and no eat instead of 5 and eat myself awake.

Thursday , August 5th 2004
Whew! Today I have a day off. This week, we've been running back and forth to my sister's house during the day. She'd had surgery a week ago, is getting around fine, but I like to be there just in case. Her house is fun for my kid, my sis's roommate's kid has internet, television, everything in her room. Both kids are best friends.
I had fun cleaning the fridge and pantry. They have tons more snack food than I do. They don't eat leftovers and eat out a lot. We're just the opposite. Pretzels, sugar free Jell-O, and dried fruit are the closest to junk food we have.

My mom and dad think I've lost weight!! I've not at all, and don't think I've lost inches. Whatever weight I've might have lost, isn't really weight but water weight from that monthly stuff. But still, I didn't ask them if they thought I'd lost, because I hadn't. Mom just volunteered the question. My thoughts are, even if I never lose another pound, as long as my food intake is 'clean', I work out 5 days a week for 30 minutes with FitTV, and have a running goal, I'll be fine. Currently, my running goal is 2 miles in 11 minutes, with it ultimately 2 in 8 or 9. After that, I'd like to work on distance, with an ultimate goal of running 5 miles at a time. Once the ultimatums are hit, of course, I'll up it while setting up intermediate goals, too. Oddly enough, I'm looking forward to a day at home today. Sis doesn't need me to babysit her today. So, I'm really wanting to get caught up on housework. Most of the yard work is done, thanks to yesterday evening's mowing. I'd overslept on the 5am thing, so mowed for an hour instead. The mower is gas, of course, but not self-propelled, so my heart rate is about 120-130 bpm the whole time. When I run, it's 130-140, with 150 being too much. At that, I feel like I can't breathe enough.

Monday , November 15th 2004
You know, I did the six meals a day thing, the three meals a day thing, all that, with total calories being 1200 a day. All with the same results, nothing. So I'm cutting down on the eating times to see if that helps. Yesterday I didn't eat until nearly 3pm, today, it's going to be 1pm. I usually only workout 30 minutes in the morning, which isn't nearly enough, so I'm going to need to start my running program again. No food after 7pm, only because 6pm is usually our dinner time. Main thing is, NOTHING after dinner, not a bite. Hubby comes home from Kuwait in 23 days!!! He'll not be 'home' home, but in the States, at least. Emails will be tougher for him to send, but it'll be easier for him to call. That's cool.
Jeeze, did I die or something????

Ok, 2004 was almost perfect, other than Hubby was in Kuwait. While he was gone, I had these wonderful routines that I adhered to like a booger on a kleenex. Once he came back, they all went out the window. I blame the shuffling of responsibilities of his homecoming. He needs to feel useful and needed without becoming the pack horse of the family. Tough balancing act, indeed.

Rant of the day: LOOSE and LOSE are two different words with two different meanings. If you're (NOT YOUR) too ignorant to know the difference, STOP POSTING IN MESSAGE FORUMS. Don't be a dumbass, ok?


Let's see. What was done in 2004? Painted upstairs and most of downstairs, redid the ponds' and stream's liner, kept the lawn mowed much better than now, woke up at 4:30am every morning as a 'kiss my honky ass' to those better-than-thous who say "I get to work at 6am, so I'm much better than you ever will be." But I'm not bitter. I really should have kept up the blog better, then I could look and see that I did get a lot more done than I'm giving myself credit for.

I'm rather sick today, just a little fever with a headache. Makes me double sleepy. I'm going to update my template a little, allow comments (oh joy), then post another entry later. There's knitting classes and projects, marathon training, and goals for my 40th year of life.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race