Thursday, October 31, 2002

100 Things About Me because I'm a sheep.

1. I never have nor ever will be happy with myself as is. Sometimes I'm resigned to the way I am, but not content.

2. I have phobias of wasps and being boring. Sadly, one is much more avoidable than the other.

3. I was a standup comic for one night in Omaha. I rambled on too long and can't remember a thing I said, although, I think I was funny.

4. I don't like how often I use the word I. Sometimes, bad grammar is employed to avoid the word.

5. My Mom thinks I'm tiny, even though I think I'm a bruiser. It's the bodybuilder calves, quads, and pecs.

6. I've been weightlifting mostly off and some on since college. That was from '85 to now.

7. People who know the programmer side of me are amazed I have any creativity. People who know the artist side of me are amazed I can be so logical.

8. Speaking of that, I've been told I think like a guy. It's not tough, just a lot more instinctual.

9. Even though I'm terribly guilty of it, bad grammar and spelling really irks me. I went to public school, marginally payed attention, and yet, still know there are differences between lose-loose, it's-its, and your-you're.

10. I have a green thumb.

11. I have two wonderful sisters who do not have said green thumbs.

12. I've inherited my thumb from my mother and grandmother, both of whom should be completely green.

13. These two women are the among the most intelligent people I've ever known and my life is better for them having been in them.

14. My sister tells me I'm just like our father. I agree, only I'm the watered down version. He's Guiness, I'm Guiness with Coors Lite gently stirred in.

15. I hate martial arts as exercise. I also hate running but love that it's time-efficient.

16. I love Gilad's workouts. He acts manly, uses the same moves from one show to the next, and is encouraging. I need that.

17.I love yoga, especially the relaxation pose, ha!

18. My middle name isn't Grace for a good reason. I have none. Physically or conversationally.

19. I still love my grandparents, and aunts and uncles, like they're my own parents. I love my cousins like siblings.

20. My Mother is my best friend. I haven't told her everything, but can tell her anything.

21. My Father is my role model on a lot of things. I 'hear' his instructions whenever I'm doing home improvements.

22. My Husband is my other and better half. We complement each other. What one forgets, the other remembers.

23. My Daughter is my life. I probably don't blog about her that much, but then, I don't constantly blog about the air I breathe, either. I worship this child, adore her, and admire her. She's like her father, everyone adores her and goes the extra mile to make her happy.

24. I don't give false compliments, ever. If you didn't deserve it, I wouldn't have said it.

25. I'm a really bad bad liar. Every time my hand is getting near the cookie jar, I get caught. My family knows what I'm thinking when hearing my first hello over the phone.

26. I drive a psychic yellow car. It breaks down every single time I think good thoughts or say good things about it. The thing also does this to my husband. As long as I look hard at newer cars, Lemon runs just fine. Stupid car.

27. My grandfather and father were/are both in the oilfield. Although I try to always be a lady, there are times when I can curse in a couple of languages.

28. Even though I'm a Yank, I'd live in England or Australia in a second. If not here, I'd be so there.

29. This is how old I am. For the next few years or until people snort after hearing this, whichever is first.

30. I love naps. Our bedroom is very spa-like and none of us can stay awake in there for very long, even with the tv on.

31. I love trash day. Take it away! Take it all away!

32. If my doorbell or phone rings on a Sunday morning or afternoon, it'd better be a family member. Otherwise, I'm seething.

33. I'm easy to anger, but thankfully have such a short memory, I forget what ticked me off. Makes harboring a lifelong grudge really tough sometimes.

34. Speaking of grudges, I've been married and divorced when very young. If 22 is very young. After 18 years, I'd hate him a lot more if I weren't so lazy emotionally.

35. As a result, I don't care for blond haired guys, have learned that sometimes a quiet guy equals stupid guy, and divorce can be a very good thing to do.

36. I've had more than my share of boyfriends, but there's only one or two that I actually miss every so often. Even that is in the "I really like you but don't touch me" sort of way.

37. Once I'm done with a relationship, I'm done. No, I don't want you back, don't want a good-bye boink, and you're lucky I've not subscribed you to several "Gay boys in bondage" magazines. Seriously.

38. I've actually been married for more than a decade to my current and final husband! Me! It's the longest not-connected-by-DNA relationship I've ever had. I can't imagine being married for the rest of my life, but then, I can't imagine life without him.

39. Secretly, I'm proud of the fact that I can troubleshoot computer and other electronics over the phone. I usually do this from memory and have to close my eyes to 'see' the screen or menu items available to the family member needing help. When I'm really desperate, I'll Google a troubleshooting guide, but most often, I'll not need to do that.

40. I keep forgetting I'm THIS OLD. When the hell did THAT happen?

41. My father bought me a cordless drill for my birthday and I love it! Power tools rule. So do riding lawn mowers.

42. Secretly, I want our lawn to look like a golf course. Obviously, I'm too lazy for that. We live between two landscape perfectionists, so what I call 'nature preserve' is someone else's 'a little long'.

43. Another secret: When I watch "Monk", I totally get his OCD. Too busy impersonating a boneless chicken to sanitize my doorknobs, but yes, totally understand the germophobia.

44. I will not only brake for cheesecake, but will set up a camp and build a log cabin for it. If Red Lobster were any cheaper and delivered, I'd never need to leave home again.

45. Especially since I can order yarn on the internet.

46. I am a total yarnaholic. I won't live long enough to knit all this up, honestly.

47. At my current level of self-care, I'm expected to live another 54 years. If I don't, it'll really piss me off.

48. I love to love on my family. I will wooley and squeeze them in hugs.

49. On the other hand, if I don't or just barely know someone, I don't want any touching me or even within my reach. My personal space is rather big and I don't like it invaded.

50. It's easier for me to list what I don't like versus what I do like. My Don't is a lot shorter than my Do.

51. Watching The Love Boat, Gene Kelly movies, eating small pretzels with french onion dip, napping in the afternoon, and surfing yarn websites are all guilty pleasures of mine. I do have guiltier ones, but, this blog is rated PG.

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Slow and Steady Wins the Race