Friday, November 21, 2003

Did I write anything yesterday??? Gads! That infantile senility is the pits. Icky news first, Hubby is going to Kuwait proper on Saturday. The good thing about it is the 365 countdown starts on Sunday or Monday, whenever he reports in.

So tired! Last night, I stayed up until 1:30am, woke up the child, then we parked in a dark place and watched the meteor shower. Very cool and the kid really had fun. Of course we took the converible and cranked up the heater once the top was down. We saw about 15 in the hour we were there. The event wasn't as much as I'd hoped, but was a good chance to point out a few constellations to the small fry.

Had the Jeep's door fixed again. He didn't charge me, thank goodness. Nor did we get to talk about hubby's old ways. Good thing, because the weight was up to 155 today. Probably due to the Diet Pepsi I scarfed down last night. I don't know how true addicts kick drugs, I can't even kick soda.

There's more, I know, but I'm so sleepy, tired, and want to work on a commissioned afghan before bedtime. Looking forward to tomorrow's workout, so hoping a migraine doesn't hit because one is due. Also, I had a bit of a headache at the American Legion meeting tonight.

Also had a bit of Sonic food and thought I'd blown the whole day's work, but didn't. I even have enough left to have a snack! Yay because I'm feral hungry right now. There's tons of food here, a lot of leftovers from the past two days CK foods. Plus, grapes and oranges. Yum. I'll have to see what 325 calories will buy me around here.

Thursday, November 20, 2003

I wanted to run today, really, I did. But after Monday's run, there's not a jogging bra tight enough to make me feel secure. Talk about pain! Monday's run was painful, sure, but I thought "Endure, endure," the whole time. Tenderness is all part of the PMS joy that is mine. Bleh.

So instead, I 'took the stairs'. Stairclimber at resistance 8 for 30 minutes. Had to bump it down for 10 minutes to 6-7 minutes due to the high heart rate. I'm thinking it was because I'd skipped breakfast and workout time was 11:00pm. Lack of water, too. I'd had two cups of coffee and nothing else. The cool thing is, I benched 90lbs for 15 reps. :D I'd wanted to do another 5, but could only manage 3 more. The bicep curls and tricep extensions were harsh, too. I'd enter in the reps and everything in the My Exercise thing, but it doesn't allow for weight. 3X5 isn't nearly as impressive at 5lbs as it is at 50lbs.

I'm an extremely lucky person. Yesterday, the child and I were invited to two different Christmas parties, one with the Army Reserve, the other with Hubby's co-workers. Plus, I'd been asked a week ago if I'd help with V's school's holiday shop. It's so cute, all the kids come in with money to buy gifts for family members. As a volunteer, I'd help the kids keep to their budget, and help them pick the best gifts. I think this year, since we're doing so well financially (relatively speaking and without lottery winnings), I'm bringing a few extra bucks just in case the kindergarteners aren't prepaired. They usually aren't, and that's fine. By the first grade, they know what's up. :)

Another reason why I'm lucky is that the people at the library loved my class and think I'm good. That'll help with the future knitting classes. The more people that sign up, the more classes we will need and the more work I have. :) I'm hoping something I said was taken the right way...One of the students had a really tough time learning and I had a tough time teaching. I'd told her that it's like Algebra, sometimes it takes a different way of teaching for the lesson to be learned. Thankfully, the lady had a tough time with Algebra herself and knew what I was talking about.

Haven't heard from my guy today, but expected that. He said they'd be running around this week. They're to possibly ship over the 24th (I may have written this before). I bought an extra can of cranberry jelly. Isn't that funny, how I have all these homemade cranberry relish recipes and he'd rather have the Ocean Spray canned stuff? Same with TV dinners. My family comes over wanting gourmet food and he'd rather have TV dinners. They don't expect gourmet, but will scarf it down and lick the plates. :) Not bad, considering how I held the title of Worst Cook in the Family for decades.

Leonid meteor shower tonight!! I've promised to wake up the child to see shooting stars. We'll have to find somewhere unpolluted with light. Where, I don't know. Plus, if you could tune in at 67.5 Mgz, you could 'hear' them.

Must clean house, do dishes, all that. After working out, plus the class, I'm pooped. We did a bit of grocery shopping tonight, too. I absolutely hate it when people don't pay attention to where their carts go. If one more person nearly hits or hits my child with those things, I'm going postal on them. Seriously. She's a child, they're adults. If they can't watch what they're doing, they have no business being allowed in public. She shouldn't have to live in fear of getting slammed by one of them, she should be the one running amok. The kid is such a joy, is so well mannered, that for people to be so careless around her ticks me off to no end. I'd like to throttle them. >:|

Ok, back to happy. Especially since I'll be reading the Adventures of Super Diaper Baby. When I was last at the School's library, I checked out 4 kid books for fun. One of my guilty pleasures is reading kid's books. Besides, how could a person resist reading "The Chicken Gave it to Me"?

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Workout was great, if brief, yesterday. Food was ok, considering. I'd had one of those Halloween packs of Teddy Grahams for breakfast, to keep myself out of the ice cream (it worked), then was stuck at the bank during the lunch hour. After that was getting the Jeep fixed. The bank is in a grocery store, and the deli had a chinese food special. Good for me that I ate it there. With to go, they give you more food. :) Less is more. I had a little bit of diet soda (considering), then snacked a little on ice cream (a quarter cup) in the evening. I need to add that to the calorie list.

Ran a mile at 5.5mph, yesterday, plus benched 80lbs 15 times. The ultimate goal is running 3 miles at 7.5 and benching 95 for 20 times. It's a German Army PT contest that Ft. Leavenworth has every year. I can't enter, of course, not being active duty, but it's something my hubby and I can do 'together'. We can compare notes and progress, essentially being a fan of each other.

Speaking of hubby and fanship AND weight....Our mechanic is a high school friend of my hubby, so I 'get' to hear all these bad boy stories about him. Yay. Stories about the German cathouse girls knowing him by name bothered me, as did the fact that his 'first' love and girlfriend looked like a model. (hubby's friend's words)

Begin Dark Psyche part

Now, logically, I know that while stationed in Germany, hubby was single and hadn't even met me. That being true, I also know that he has enough pride to not pay for 'it'. Finally, he's pretty cheap. He'll spend big bucks on quality while skimping on the transitory. Like, live in a mansion and drive a junker. His best friend being a mechanic helps, believe me. :D

Anyway, even though it happened 16 years ago, and husband 2 is nowhere the pond scum husband 1 was...husband 1 slept with paid chicks several times and told me they were worth the money. I'm always surprised by my pictures from that time frame. The younger me was gorgeous, thin, and just cute in general. I remember always feeling so fat, ugly, and plain in personality. Funny what brainwashing can do, huh? After 16 years, am I over it? My icky feelings yesterday when Bill said hubby was on a first name bases with the hired help made me think I had issues. Today, though, I think it's more of after having eaten something bad (like raw liver) I remember the taste and still shudder from it. I think I'm over it, just haven't forgotten how horrible it felt during that time.

Now, I don't know about you gals, but to hear that a former girlfriend looks like a model while you feel anything but, is tough. Using logic again, they dated two years, we've been married for ten. She and he weren't suited, didn't have the same life goals, while he and I infinitely do. At the same time, he hasn't seen her since she was 19, while he's seen me at 38. (gasp! my age always shocks me) Yeah, I looked great at 19, too, but the last time he saw me, I didn't look that good. I remember thinking 120lbs was fat, now I'm thinking I'll be emaciated at 130.

I'm babbling. The comment just pings that 'you're fat' feeling. Plus, there's no way I could be as skinny as a model, even if I wanted to. I need my muscle, otherwise, my metabolism makes turtles look like they're on speed. I can't eat low enough to get skinny, either. The low blood sugar gives me headaches, I lose concentration, and get very cranky. Plus, I flat out don't have the will power. Should I admit my loss of control sometimes? When I'm super hungry, it's like I'm feral and blind to common sense. Must. Have. Food.

End of Dark Psyche

Need to call the bank and see what's up with the lost paperwork. Also need to reply to emails. :)

Note to NBC: When the country is at war, another country has nukes and says whatcha gonna do about it...Don't break into programming to announce that one state has ruled in favor of same sex marriage. It's like running the Civil Defense sirens over a rainstorm. The ruling is a momentous event in civil liberties, not civil defense.

It could be just me, growing up in a time where those tests of the American Broadcast System was something that made you think WWIII had finally begun.

Gotta love PMS. Makes a gal take everything personally. A leaf falls off the tree outside, and I'm there asking "What? You don't like me anymore?"

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Oh Lordy. I've turned back into a teenager...OMG! He, like, SO called!!! Isn't THAT a hoot from a coot? :D

(coot = old person for you non-southerners)

I love watching the British House of Commons on CSPAN. Always feel like yelling "Fight, fight, fight!"

So anyway, hubby is fine, lonely, spending at Walmart. :D So cute. The little ole gal driving them (he and the Master Sargent) around is 20 yrs old. I LOLed because I have jeans in my closet older than her. Seriously. It's a goal of mine to wear them before my 40th birthday.

The little ole gal was born in '83, the year I graduated so, yeah, I'm old enough to be her mother.

Sigh. I forget that I'm that old. Here I go, bee bopping through life, and something will remind me that I'm nearing 40. I'll think, "No way!", then of course, "Way!" because I AM that old. :D

Ok, I'm hubby-less and child-less on a Saturday night and what thrills do I seek? Well, as I was driving home with new yarn store yarn, a large diet soda and burger from Wendy's, and a batch of borrowed DVD's, I'd realized that my life has become a lot less beer and guy soaked in the past 10-11 years. Heh heh. That's good, though. The only thing worse than being 38 and acting 28 is being 38 and acting 18. At some point you have to put self-destructive behavior behind you and begin damage control.

Speaking of which, I did ask for the small fries, but since I'd wanted the biggie diet soda, I got the biggie fries. There's no way I'm throwing away food unless it's evolving into a lab experiment. That's why I'd asked for small specifically. The Wendy's down the road ALWAYS screws it up. Mc D's isn't much better and Wendy's is tastier anyway.

Exercise today was cleaning house. Putting away laundry requires going up and down stairs, so that counts for something. My weight today was a shocking 152. Shocking after a couple of 157's last week. I'm getting to where I do care about weight, but more about muscle and getting trimmed.

Food is still a struggle. I'm going to have to work on it more...

Friday, November 14, 2003

Freakin' funny, that.

What makes an interesting journal? Is it gratuitous sex and violence? Teenager syle anquish? Illicit activities? Glorious triumps? Social commentary? With that leads to outrageous political, religious, financial opinions. Are these what makes for good reading? What about a good hook in the last paragraph, like, I've already found the solution to the problem, but I'm going to not tell you until tomorrow, so tune in then.

Ok, well, here's a controversial statement. I think the term Metrosexual is a load of crap. In MY day, men who used 'product' and spent tons of time on their appearance were called egotistical when they weren't called gay. They're trying to make it out to be an entirely new sexuality when it has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with 'me me me'. Totally retarded. Besides, when I hear 'metrosexual', I think of buses or subways gettin' down with it. Don't think about straight guys getting facials, wearing silk, and suddenly camping their way through life.

The week in recap....Monday was orthodontist, my last visit. :D Tuesday was headache, Wednesday was classes taught, Thursday was web time and workout, Friday is library and lunch with child day. :D Tomorrow I don't know, while Sunday is pic up child from her auntie's.

Hubby called yesterday! So nice to hear his voice versus a telemarketer's. I love that man of mine.

Love the child. She and I went to the Olive Garden for dinner last night. One last 'eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we diet'. She is a wonderful dinner companion, very articulate and just funny. Such a charming little person

Monday, November 10, 2003

It's been ONE WEEK.

I so must update my calories. What a supreme bum.

Don't think I'll like today's Dr. Phil. Stay at home and out of the home moms are fighting about who's doing the best. Who's right? Heck, who knows? It's a choice that has to meet the needs of the child and parent.

I'm working out tomorrow, not today. It's too rainy, I'm cold, and tired from not sleeping last night.

Later: I'm right. The moms are pissing me off. What's this "You're a bad mom if you work." What about, "You're a bad DAD if you work." What about men who don't do a damned thing for their kids? Not that moms aren't important, but men need to step up and take responsibility for the sperm that took.

Friday, November 07, 2003

Let's see if this test works...

Obviously NOT. I suppose I'm going to have to pay to upload images to here, since I can't seem to pull them off my own website. Damn it all.
Hungry hungry hungry.

That eating thing I did last week spoiled me rotten. Now, my tummy actually THINKS it needs food. I knew I wasn't doing any favors to myself by eating too much.

Am I whining? Probably. I can deal with cutting out some of my favorite foods. After a while, I don't even miss them. But right now, sticking to or below 1200 calories in is tough. Tonight is pizza night and it's hard to wait. Since kid sister is coming over tonight to do laundry, I'm popping pizzas in the oven now. I've allowed myself half a pizza, it's already entered, but I'm also filling half a large plate with salad (minimal dressing). Usually, I eat off the smaller plates.

Ok, done with pizza. Very tasty and now it's Bonus Treks time.

Workout was good, I ran/walked for 30 minutes. The average speed was 4.7mph, a bit of a jog. I did happen to bump up the running to 7.5mph, just to see if I could do it, since it's a goal for later to run 3 miles at that rate. So far, it's 2.4 at 4.7, obviously. :)

I keep checking my emails, the answering machine, for word from hubby. Nada, and it's Friday, for crying out loud. He's in the States. If he were overseas, I'd understand not calling or emailing, but surely the others have lives that aren't being interrupted and can cut hubby loose enough to email.

I've noticed lately that I'm feeling 'harsh' towards myself. Like, when I read other people's web logs, I refrain (or want to) from giving pats on the back or encouragement. Why? Because I'm thinking they'll reply "So? Why should I give a rat's butt what YOU think?" I don't know why, but I keep thinking other's attitude towards me is probably a "YOU are talking to ME?", like I'm bothering them by exsisting and who am I to talk to them. Does that make sense? Have no idea why I'm suddenly feeling so insignificant, usually this is reserved for PMS and that type of moody body chemistry.

Could it be the lack of calories making me go stark raving mad??? Could it be I NEED a healthy slice of cheesecake??? I think not, but I like the idea. :D Most likely it's due to the lack of sleep since hubby left. With the car being cut into, plus our basement window screen being ripped away, I can't sleep with hubby being gone. We have an alarm system with a beep every time a door or window is opened, there's a couple of guns where I can get to them, plus as always 911 is on the speed dial, so we're not open to the world and waiting for robbery.

What does that have to do with diet and health? Cortisol from not sleeping leads to pot belly, something that I'm actually losing. While my weight hasn't changed from 155, I measured and I've lost nearly two inches in my tummy! Yay! My chest, measured under the armpits and above the bust, and my waist are the only two places that haven't lost. The chest has increased due to back and pectoral exercises, I'm sure. The waist being the same I can handle, just as long as the tummy is decreasing. That's what really makes me look fat. Other than the fat itself.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

Taught my knitting class today. Everyone sort of knew the difference between a knit and a purl except one. Sheesh. It was tough to have patience, because when I wanted to pause and have her do some practice rows, she argued and complained that if she wasn't knitting the mitten like she wanted, she wasn't knitting at all. I'm like, you're trying to run when you don't know how to walk, for cryin out loud.

God, tomorrow, I've got to take the yowling cat back to the base at 11:20. Before that, I need to return the movies we checked out. Actually, I may just keep them and watch the unwatched one tomorrow night. It's only a dollar penalty for lateness, even at that, it's less than blockbuster's one rental.

Heard from my beloved. He misses us but managed to send a short and sweet email. I love that man. :) He's wonderful and I miss him like crazy. I really try not to think about him too much, or I just get sad and lonely.

I need to wrap this up. I'm starving!! Too much so to sleep, so I'll probably snack lightly then go to bed.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

I miss him.

Hubby deployed today. It's only been one day, and already I'm counting down the 365 days his orders were cut for, plus the 2-3 weeks he'll be stateside getting weapons qualified. He's much more worried about his abilities than I am. He's freakin' amazing. Super efficient, super organized, just fantastic. The crazy thing is, he thinks just as much of me. Worships me like I worship him. Why? I don't know. I think I'm not worthy, hence the 'Perfection' blog of me trying to be a better person.

I did cry a lot (for me) at the airport. Already miss his skin and the warmth of his body. Got to hear his voice today when he called. Wonderful. :) Sometimes, I listen to his voice on his cell phone answering machine, just to hear it. I like how I sound when I'm leaving him a message. I recognize the sweetness in my voice as sincere love, since I sound like my sisters.

Talked to mom today and am SO HOPING they can come up for Christmas. I'd like a reason to decorate the house and am thinking about getting a webcam just so Hubby can see in on us. :) I think his birthday on Wednesday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas will be a wash, if only because we won't know where exactly to send gifts and turkey jerky. :D I should get his food dehydrator and whip up some dehydrated turkey, stuffing, and cranberries. }:D

We had seafood tonight, the Long John Silvers crabcakes were killing me. I ate all my dinner, which was too much. Actually, I don't like eating fast food or even eating out because I can't control the ingredients and food quality. The child and I had a treat tonight, but tomorrow, it's back to food as usual.

I'd like to resume this perfection thing, if only because I have 364+2-3 weeks to whip myself into shape. Both Hubby and I want to train for the German Army PT Test. At this point, I'd just like to pass the US Army PT test. My immediate goal is to run 2 miles in 18 minutes, a 9 minute mile. I can run 2 miles, but it's in 20-30 minutes. (how fast did I run that again??? can't remember) Also need to do 40 pushups in 2 minutes and 40 sit ups in 2 minutes. Pushups are improving, but the situps are a no-go due to lower back pain. I can, however, do 3 sets of 60 crunches. Hey, it's a baseline. :) Tomorrow, I'm going to the gym to get the stats on where I'm starting, then programming out goals from there. :)

Saturday, November 01, 2003

I last did this in freakin AUGUST? Holy crap, a lot has happened.

Well, not a whole lot, just hubby is being deployed, my car was cut open, I rolled into a parked car with my hubby's car, an I had a bad pap come back. You know what I mean if you're female. The bad thing is doing without my love and best friend for over a year. Miss him already.

My new fat weight is 155. My size 9s fit good, snug but not tight, and I'm really feeling slim, even if I'm still heavier than I want to be. :)

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Ug. PMS, new fat weight is 157. I hate this.

I'm in the process of a life makeover. I want to carve out a life plan complete with health, work, and family goals. When I've hammered out the game plan, I'll let you know. I want these goals to be realistic, measureable, and incremental.

Is perfection realistic? Sure! If it's your personal version of perfection. Is being 5'10" perfection for ME? No, because I'm 5'3". My goals will lead me to perfection on my own terms and in a day or two, I'm taking you along for the ride.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003


The good thing is, my new 'fat day' weight is lower by 5 lbs. Now, when I'm fat, it's because I've hit 155-156. Down 4-5lbs since last month. I suppose SOME progress has been made.... all is not lost.

I suck. Not in a good way, either.

I've done nothing productive or good in the time since I last posted and it's been over a month. I really must get my act together. The only thing really swell I've done is dig a couple of ponds in the back yard. The whole thing is almost done, I just need to finish the border and plant a few things. It's so freakin' hot outside, though, that it's hard to get anything done.

I'm going to re-evaluate my goals, the list, everything. I'm extremely disappointed in myself.

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

Hi there! Still not doing the sweater a day, nor have I finished the treatment, yet, but as for everything else, I'm doing ok. The house is cluttered still, but clean, child and I have been swimming every day, and I've been sticking to my latest diet since Monday. Not a world record, I know, but good for me.

Let's see... anything scandalous or exciting? Not really. Went to Ft. Leavenworth last weekend and spent the night in a really nice suite thanks to husband being a Major in the Army. He's a reservist, so I'll forget how rank works sometimes. Whenever he goes on base or post, the enlisted guards salute him and I think that's so cool. I really admire and love the guy, and don't believe him for one second when he says he's average.

I'm scoping out some beautiful 'day in the life' entries over at Wordgoddess. Wow. Very inspiring. I really must do more with my life. I think tomorrow I'll put a day in the life in here since it's already 9am here and I want to get some things done.

Before I go, here's the stats:
Date Cals In Curr #'s %fat #'s Lost See below Basal
6/26/03 1384 164 6 126 1749
6/27/03 1690 163 7 154 1769
6/28/03 2450 164 6 223 1855
6/29/03 1184 164 34.4 6 108 1729
6/30/03 1179 165 5 107 1738
7/1/03 1126 160 34 10 102 1684
7/2/03 947 160 10 86 1666

On the see below: This is what I would weigh if I ate like that every day. If every day I had no more or less than 1126 calories, I'd weigh 102. It's good to see that even if I eat 1690, way over goal, it's still less than what I'd need to maintain 160, where I'm currently at.

Things to do today:
The tasks for today, 7-2.

Make beds, Pick up clothes
Yoga and Gym
Swim with child
Dust furniture
80 oz water
Vacuum chairs and room edges
Wash dishes, counter, microwave
Organize one thing in home
Hook up digital camera
Sweep and clean outside
Call Steph
Spend time with children or spouse or family member or good friend.
Read positive affirmations twice today.
Write down goals for life
Face and teeth

These are things for later as I can get to them:
The water main down in the basement
Clean out garage
Sweep garage
Flexible gas connectors
Ground-fault circuit interrupters
Clean freezer
Clean closets
Smoky chimney

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

Woo hooo!!! 160!! I've been here at 160 for a couple of days, but what with PMS, it's sure to drop in a week's time. :D Me very happy starvation paid off.

I've been keeping it low in the calories lately, at least below 1500 a day no matter what the workout. ;) It works.

Here is part of my calories and weight:
Dates Cals Weight Body fat lbs lost You ate enough to weigh this:
6/1/03 1153 164.5 5.5 105
6/2/03 1522 165 34.5 5 138
6/3/03 1483 163 7 135
6/4/03 2000 162 8 182
6/5/03 1100 163 7 100
6/6/03 2000 164 6 182
6/7/03 2000 165 5 182
6/8/03 2000 166 4 182
6/9/03 2000 166 4 182
6/10/03 1500 167 3 136
6/11/03 1014 164 34.5 6 92
6/12/03 1367 165 5 124
6/13/03 1180 165 5 107
6/14/03 1590 162 8 145
6/15/03 1840 162 34.5 8 167
6/16/03 1585 163 7 144
6/17/03 1080 162 34.3 8 98
6/18/03 1370 163 7 125
6/19/03 1540 160 34 10 140
6/20/03 1450 160 34.2 10 132
6/21/03 1810 161 34 9 165
6/22/03 1500 160 10 136
6/23/03 1560 160 10 142
6/24/03 1395 160 10 127

At this rate, I don't think I'll ever be Calista or Lara, but heck, I'll settle for NOT being Moby or Shamu.

Anyway, since I haven't updated in ages, I'll let you in on what's going on:

Friend is still paying back money owed.

Piano tuned and keys don't stick anymore. Very good.

We have a new DVD player in the bedroom and the movies are fun.

Brake light on car came on but with a bit of fluid, went back off. It freaked me out because I'm still having nightmares from when my brakes failed and I wrecked my car 20 years ago(!)

Doing very well on the housecleaning via The List and sticking to most of it.

I do tend to drop stuff and not work out when I either have a headache or a cold. Now, it's a cold and I'm praying the headache doesn't start tomorrow, because it's due.

Child and I have been swimming some afternoons. Husband has been Army duties this month but made time to give me 9 pink roses, one for each year we'd been married. He's such a catch, I adore him.

Started cleaning up my yarn room and realized I have way too much yarn. Gads! A major goal is to knit a sweater a day on the Bond knitting machine. I'm still working on my Dad's fish socks.

Downloaded tons of The Sims objects I'm finding in various places.

There's a ton of stuff I need to do, design my work website, finish a screenplay treatment and develop a few more ideas, get ready for the neighborhood garage sale (not gonna happen, sorry). Etc.

Not only are my child's dresser drawers done, but my bookcase for the vast fields of yarn stored in my basement office has been assembled. Tres cool and tres filled already.

We had the carpets professionally cleaned, cost a fortune but worth it. We need to have the air ducts cleaned since when I tried to vacuum up dust out of one of them, I retrieved huge chunks of wood. (huge meaning at least 2 square inches)

Here's my list to do for tomorrow:

„R Wash dishes, counter, microwave
„R Make beds, Pick up clothes
„R 80 oz water
„R Yoga and Gym
„R Clean oven, stove hood, and freezer
„R Replace vacuum bag and air filter
„R Organize one thing in home (today it was papers I tend to stack around, I don't know what tomorrow)
„R Fix broken window bars (only one window left to fix)
„R Clean out garage
„R Basement AKA hellhole
„R Sweep garage
„R Sweep and clean outside
„R Clean closets ∆ín
„R Swim for 30 mins
„R Knit
„R Write
„R Face and teeth (wear the freakin' retainers!!!)
„R Take up a new exercise.
„R Find a new way to be more productive.
„R Write down goals for life

Sunday, June 01, 2003

Let's see, there's more I didn't do than I did. Here's what I didn't get done.
Workout Tape
Clean on part of the Basement
Wash Bed Sheets and Finish Laundry
Clean sinks and tubs, toilets and mirrors
Clear Papers in Kitchen
FINISH putting together Child's Dresser Drawers
Dust furniture
Write on the Australian screenplay, maybe come up with some new ideas
Knit on Dad's socks, maybe design new items
Face and teeth (I wear retainers and have oily skin. And I'm 38. It BITES)

I know. There's more that I did happen to do, though. :P I think one thing I must do is finish my Dr Phil's Life Matters book and get my act together.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Whew. Back down to 164 and falling. Did the holiday thing, ie, too much food, plus had pizza and chinese just yesterday. I have no idea how I'm going to enter THIS one in. Tons of food.

School is almost out. I'm going to have to come up with things to do for the Small Fry that'll keep her active and entertained.

Gosh, nothing to write. Well, did go to lunch with the guys from State Street and Robb's family. I miss those guys.

I had a good time with the family over the holidays.

Came home to a messy house and promptly printed out a todo list. Barely did anything on it, but then, see above lunch. :) After that, working out, and running errands, I seriously only did dishes. Today will be better. If I work out, and I'd like to, I'll just do a tape here at home.

Here's today's things I'd love to do:
Workout Tape
Clean on part of the Basement
Shower (I think this is a given)
Wax Eyebrows and Color Hair
Pick up clothes
Wash Bed Sheets and Finish Laundry
Clean sinks and tubs, toilets and mirrors
Clear Papers in Kitchen
FINISH putting together Child's Dresser Drawers
Dust furniture
Kitchen, dishes, counters, that sort of thing
Make beds
Write on the Australian screenplay, maybe come up with some new ideas
Knit on Dad's socks, maybe design new items
Face and teeth (I wear retainers and have oily skin. And I'm 38. It BITES)
Drink 80 oz water throughout the day

Friday, May 23, 2003

Doin' the bump, ow! Sexy Sexy!

Or not.

I was in a tizz this morning when bloating up to 167 on the scale, then just before showering, I jumped back on while nekkid and weighed two pounds less. So, I took that. :D

Hand still hurts, folded laundry, threw small dinner party for Sister's birthday. She's 35!! NO! She can't be that old! She's younger than MEEEE.

Mom and Dad's anniversary, today, (May 22), too. 39 years. Weird, I can't imagine being with MYSELF that long, much less someone else.

Oo oooh! I was buying some wine, the lady asked what year I was born and when I replied '65, she said "No! You can't be." It might have been a flattery thing, but I don't think she's that good an actor. Plus, I have good genes from my dad. Didn't get the skinny ones, but DID get the youthful :D I can diet easier than I can install cranes to keep my boobs on my chest.

I'm a class mom taking care of some of my child's classmates at the zoo tomorrow, plus, I need to pack for the weekend. Also working on a new chart in Excel that will keep track of my calorie intake.

Something that I really must do is read Self Matters by Dr. Phil and really nail down an action plan for my life. I'm not good with limbo and think I'm getting even lazier than before. I need to write down and solidify what it would take for me to truly be perfect. I know, not attainable, but still, I'd like to try to get close. It's kind of like lightspeed, you can't reach it, but you can get 99.999999999% there.

Worked out today, StairClimber for 20 mins, then ran 1/4 mile at 5 mph just for fun(!!!) Weird. Never did THAT before, but just wanted to. The bad hand (Still!!!) made Cobra pose in yoga and pushups (8) painful, so I left off with the other arm and chest exercises. I'd like for this to HEAL, thankyou! Didn't do the leg press due to the psoas muscle. I'll need it for the long trip tomorrow (it's a muscle you SIT on) and THAT'S the last muscle I want to irritate.

Neck muscles don't like crunches. Funny how they're sore but my abs aren't.

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

THIS is a hoot:

I love it.

So anyway, the only things I got done yesterday was the Nemesis (watched it, like it ok, cried when Data blew up), worked out.

Ohhhh, that's so bad. One thing that's really bothersome is my left hand. There's something major wrong with the thumb muscle. I can't even lift a glass of tea without it giving on me. Did last night's dishes this morning and ow. Gad, it hurts. I'm knitting like a fiend to get rid of this ick yarn that's probably the culprit in my painful hand thing. It's a hat, there's just a few yards left and it's OVER. bleh.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Good: Have stuck to the new diet so far today.

Bad: Haven't done anything around the house and it's 11:00am.

Things must do:

Get Nemesis since it's out today.
Work out at the gym.
Finish up the laundry.
Self-maintenance (I'm overdue for a grey touch-up and eyebrow trim.
Finish up the child's dresser drawers (there's tons of screwdriver work and it's cramping my hand!)

People are really starting to piss me off. Rude/aggressive drivers and telemarketers/salesmen. All I want to do is go from point A to point B without totalling my car and it seems others are damned and determined to wreck. Buttheads. Then, with all the salescalls and stuff, I'm like, no I don't want it, no, I don't want it, no, I don't want it. I'm going to have to start asking, did I call you? No? Then what makes you think I want this? Buttheads.

I'm trying to be positive. Not working. Maybe I need to double up on Zoloft.

Enduring "the View". Wouldn't you just HATE it if your name was synonomous with 'Blowjob' ala 'Monica'? Eeesh!

Wrapping up, going to Diaryland to post pms rants, then attacking the list.

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Ok, updated at Diaryland first, plus I changed it to look like this. Still gave credit to this Andrew guy who designed the template. I love it, Andrew, so THANKS A LOT!!! Seriously. It's me and I love it.

Accidently learned some HTML while doing the conversion from Blog to DL. Just can't get away from computer conversions, can I? First from Mainframe to Client/server, then Client/server to distributed apps, then to webpage.

Sims Superstar is out today. It's a freakin' miracle I'm not playing it right now. I'm eating lunch, working out, THEN getting it. :D Actually, I should do dishes and start something in a crockpot because I know I'm going to be useless for the rest of the day. :D

Weight is down a pound to 164. Seriously considering laxatives but don't want to spend that much time on the loo.

Sounds a lot better than Crapper, huh?

Friends: Gotta Love Them

Howdy! It's 1:37 am here and I'm sleepy. The below is cut and pasted from my Diaryland entry. I'm a lazy person at heart (like you didn't know, right?) and don't want to type the same thing twice. Bad news, I'm up to 165lbs today. Don't know what the hell went wrong, how I can gain 4 lbs in two days. They were only TWO f*in' donuts.

On to the Diaryland entry:
Here I am.

You know, writing this stuff earlier in the day might be a better thing. That way, I can come up with spicy stuff. Yeah, fiction, but so what? Do you REALLY want to know about the crusty stuff in the bathtub that needs cleaning?

Didn't think so.

Anyone check out that Isabella V. runaway blog? It's fiction that's trying to pass as real. Much like a friend of mine. Ha.

Ok, there's a friend who owes me money. She's had it for a year, exactly $1500. Keeps saying she'll pay it back and we've had some financially crappy times where even $10 would have been a boon.

So I get an email last week from her saying she's sending something. I don't reply, not trying to be mean or because I'm angry, like she thinks. Just don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. I suppose I could cut and paste the "Ok! That's great! Be sure not to send so much that it puts YOU in a bind," from all the emails I've sent that said that. There's been several.

I'd typed that "don't worry" crap last summer, then gone to steal money from my kid's piggy bank to buy toilet paper and food. I didn't like hearing about her driving a nicer car than I have (not hard to do, BTW) or about her going to Red Lobster and the movies when I'd not been to either in six months or more. Hell, McDonalds would have been a treat.

Things are extremely much better, now. Far far better and we're fantastic. It was only last summer that it was the total sh*ts around here. My sister would come over and complain about the heat and why didn't we turn on the air. Um, because we couldn't afford it, maybe? Child and I would go to Walmart just to walk around and enjoy the refrigerated air. I usually managed to scrape up enough to get her a slushie. Not every time, but sometimes.

Another one was the "Why don't you just move to a smaller house?" Probably because once we sold our home and gave every cent to pay it off, we'd STILL owe money. That leaves us living in a car and trust me, I'd rather skim by, bouncing as few checks as possible while trying to pay bills than live in my piece of crap car. ( Have to say stuff like that about my car. Every time I actually like my car, something falls off it or explodes. Seriously. I'm NOT kidding.)

So anyway, former best friend like a sister emails me today saying she really is sending the money and wants to patch things up. I haven't replied due to not knowing what to say that doesn't make me sound like a total bitch. I'm wanting to say, "Riiiight. I'll be here by the mailbox, WAITING." It's a joke around here, when she's 'sending' anything. I tell my husband, we laugh because we know it's not going to happen, then go on our way. Every once in a while, when he's really fretting over bills, he'll comment that it would be nice to get something. Then we laugh again like it would actually happen and go on our way.

I'd sent her the money because she needed it to get a car. No car, no job. No job, no home for her and her kid and I couldn't let that happen. Was I stupid? I didn't think so at the time, now I'm thinking "blithering idiot" when I like me, "f-ing mornon" when I don't.

I'm still not so sure I'd just let her and her kid starve. To do over, I'd probably write the check again. Give away the last bit of our savings, again.

Double dumbass on me. The nice thing is now I *know* I can't rely on her to be totally honest. Everything she says goes to the "Whatever" part of my brain. If she wasn't going to send anything, she shouldn't have told me she was. Then, I wouldn't have told my husband that yes, she is going to pay us back and then be proven wrong. Over and over again.

I don't know why she wants to be my friend, anyway. I don't have any more money to 'loan' her. That's another thing I can't just email. "What? I'm broke now and of no use to you. Why would you give a crap what I think about you??? Why would you want to be MY friend? What do you think I can do for you because I don't see a damned thing."

But I'm not bitter. Or pissed.

Monday, May 12, 2003

Well I've managed to poop off this morning. I had high expectations but low drag. :D

I've been surfing, downloading music. I'm STILL finding Sims stuff to download. Man, I love the idea of clicking a person's face and controlling them so completely. I can't control anything, even myself, and love that little fantasy world.

Good thing I've never tried street drugs, huh? Anyone addicted to computer games and Diet Pepsi should stay away from crack.

After I enter in here, I'll probably finish up online, then clean, then work out, then be more lazy. Husband gets dibs on the computer tonight, so I'm trying to get my fix over with during the day.

Ate gourmet from Dean and Deluca for Mom's day yesterday, plus two donuts. Now, I could have eaten six of them 6 months to a year ago, but after the first yesterday, I was rather queasy. Of course I ate the second one right away, it was a Bismark, fer Pete's sake. When faced with a wall of different donut varieties, THAT'S the one I pick out every time. If there are none there, then I don't waste the stomach space.

I've become a lot more selective in my eating. Smaller portions of more expensive food so the grocery bill stays the same, I'm just more expensive per pound. Ha ha ha!

I absolutely love the song "She F*ing hates me". The radio pushes it by taking out the ck part of f*ing so it really is fuhin' hates me on the radio. I think THAT'S a bit much. Especially around the grade-schoolers. Really hate it when teenagers use bad language around my kid. I mean, come on, is it going to be that hard to let her be a kid for at least a couple of years more? Kids today are bombarded with adult themes and it's tough to be a filter ALL the time. Think about it, did you have any idea what gay love was when you were in first grade? I had to date a couple in college before I knew they REALLY existed. (I was sheltered, ok?)

Am not weighing today, too bloated from the asparagus last night. Might as well eat some hummus, chili with beans, boiled eggs, and those lab experiments formerly known as artichokes. Give my intestines a really good workout.

Did you know that downloading five songs at a time @ 45k bogs down your internet connection? Who knew?

Me want high-speed, me too cheap.

Ok, must print out new daily task list and hop to it. Later.

Thursday, May 08, 2003

Getting better about blogging.


Like, you care.

Sometimes, when I'm chatting at people, I think, why do I think they give a rat's butt what I'm saying? Do I even care about what I am and what I'm saying. Now, I'm not saying I'm invisible or won't be missed if I disappear, but sometimes, I feel really...transparent. Yeah, like I'm not really there.

Achieved a few things yesterday. The big one was my husband folding all the laundry. Something I'd dreaded doing and he did it for me. I worship that man. I found the perfect pillow for my Mom for Mother's day. She and I like the flattish ones, me, I love the goosedown ones in hotels and motels. Have even thought about swiping one just because I couldn't find them anywhere else. You know it. I found them. They were hiding out at Linen 'n Things and I had a $10 off coupon. I bought her the cheapest goosedown, still more expensive than the highest priced polyester and a 100 times better. Dad's getting BBQ tools for his birthday tomorrow and stupid me didn't even think about the card until yesterday. What a dumbass I am a lot of times. Good thing I have that sweet I care about people thing going, otherwise, I'd be in a shallow ditch somewhere, decomposing. :P

Food so far: Yogurt, orange, small pita sandwitch with ham, cheese, and deli mustard. Wanted hummus (is as us?) but am letting intestins calm down after the bean-laden chili incident of Monday. (how the HELL do you spell intestines) Uh, ok. Never mind.

Received $5 off coupon for Red Lobster via email. So now I HAVE to go to the Rainforest Cafe to redeem my two $5s from there as well as RL. How about $5 at RFC, $5 at Joe's Crab Shack (a RFC subsidiary), AND $5 at RL? Spending at least $100 to save $15. ;D

I'll probably just sneak around and have my lunches at those places. Lunch is cheaper and the coupons go further that way.

Worked out yesterday. :D Stairs for 20 mins on the aerobic training instead of fat burning. Sort of took it easy at level 5 or 6 because I knew I'd need my quadrecepts (I know, spelling) for leg lifts. I love doing those and my legs aren't even sore today like I thought they'd be. I lifted 180lbs with them for two sets of 8-12 reps. They were a little tough, but obviously not impossible. I scooted my feet to where the toes hung off the edge and did calf presses, too.

I couldn't remember The Matrix Reloaded opens on my birthday? What a non-dork. That, ST:Nemesis on DVD, and The Sims and I'm good. :D Finding Nemo opens the next weekend, I think, and we're there for that one, too. Some movies, I MUST see on the big screen.

Woke up with a hideous headache this morning so after this I'm on an ice pack. I don't know WHYYYY the headache today. I'd bought a bottle of wine but hadn't even opened it, no cheese, no chocolate, no anything. What a major pain in the ASS.

Spent some time at today working on a case. While reading the interviews, I had the feeling that it was fiction and lo and behold, it was. They didn't post that anywhere obvious, but the interviews sounded so incredibly stupid and badly written in a Dragnet sort of way (you KNOW Dragnet was fiction so bad dialogue was ok). I'd say the characters were only two-dimentional, but that'd be a stretch. Plus, all the obvious red-herrings. What a moronic place.

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

this thing is like a period....

I only experience it once a month.

Really must do better.

Ok, since the great new being that is our new computer, I haven't transferred the Excel and Word spreadsheets from the old to the new. Not good, since I've not kept track of my calories and activities, plus, my to-do list is on that old computer. It tends to freeze and since the new computer, I have zero patience with it.

What's going on.... Not a whole heck of a lot.

Knitting classes are over for the summer, as far as I know now. Unless I come up with something new, anyway. I've been knitting scarves to sell for the fall. Also need to finish up all my unfinished stuff to sell, too. Sent off the invoices last week, expecting money from the library in a couple of weeks. :)

Former best friend sent apology and 'will send some of what I owe' email. Like, THAT'S never happened before. I don't know what to reply, honestly, that doesn't sound mean, so I'm not replying. Which may be even worse.

Let's be fun for a moment!!! Some faves of mine:

Movie: The last good one I saw was One Hour Photo. I'm way behind the power curve, I know. I'm dying to see all the movies opening this month, there are some really good ones.

Book: Cheap bodice-rippers, excluding Barbara Cartland. Too many elipsisi in Also, where...she puts for the...way a person would....say things....under.....duress. They are.....also.......of.....uneven lengths. I'm trying to focus on Dr. Phil's Self Matters but am too easily distracted. Seriously think I have adult ADD.

Music:At the moment, I'm listening to everything by Morten Harket of A-ha. I WORSHIP his voice as well as that of Ty Herndon. They're both attractive, that's why they have recording contracts. :P Listening to them sing is like an almost too hot shower on a snowy winter's day. Yum. Is it sexual? Not so much as it is sensual. While I work out, I listen to La Bomba, some cheapie latino compilation cassette. CDs skip too much to be enjoyable while working out on the stairs. While doing weights, I don't listen to anything, too distracting from the focus on the muscle.

Color:Today, it's GREEN. Because the color is everywhere.

Workout:Weightlifting. The other day I was doing something and noticed a lump above my knee. It was a freakin' MUSCLE. I was like, huh? Because I'm already pretty muscular, I thought I already had all the hardbody lumps. I also have all the softbody ones, too. ;P

Car: Shhhh, don't tell my car, but I love it. Of course, now that I've said that, it'll die. It always does. I may have to drive slooooowly by a new car lot just to keep it on it's pistons. ;)

Sheets: Being washed. The kid dreamed she was going to the bathroom and peed the bed. She didn't want to wake me about it and I rolled around in the stuff. Yay. I need to dry them, since I haven't heard the washer going in a while.

Neurosis of the Moment: The Sims. I found tons of free objects sites. You may have to check this out to see what I mean: Little buggers, just as I get sick of them, Superstar is going to come out. On my BIRTHDAY, no less, as well as a really good movie I want to see. Damn, I keep forgetting what it is, just that it's sci-fi. What a dunderhead. Anyway, The Sims are a drug. I love them because I can control them to a large degree. Plus, you do A, you get B. Very linear and predictable. I love that.


What I'm wearing: My husband's black sweatpants and his grey shirt from Benedictine College. I am wearing my own underwear and bra.

What I look like: Like someone who shouldn't have stayed up so late playing The Sims last night. Like someone who took a shower this morning but didn't want to get her hair wet and put it into a high bun instead.

What I'm drinking:The last dregs of a second cup of coffee. After a glass of iced tea, I'm going to work out at the gym.

What I had for breakfast:Lowfat light yogurt at 70 calories.

What I will probably have at midnight tonight: A couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter, pretzels, stale Captain Crunch cereal if there's any left.

Favorite screenwriters:The Andys. Andrew Niccol and Andrew Stanton. Look them up on and see if you don't agree. I idolize them both, they amaze me and most screenwriters don't.

Favorite road: I 70 to Colorado. I really want to go this fall and see the color. I haven't been there in a decade and used to go 2-3 times a year when I lived closer. :(

Favorite husband: Mine! I get to sleep with this hunky married guy every night. He's a cute sexy doll that doesn't know how good looking he is.

Favorite daughter: Again, Mine! She's beautiful AND a brainiac with a crazy sense of humor. What a card. She's also very tenderhearted and caring.

What I don't like:Needing to pee, laundry, being lazy, wet socks, tornadoes in my neighborhood, pimples at my age, paying bills, dimply thighs, disciplining my child, reminding anybody of anything, forgetting things, looking for things, cleaning cat urp, unclogging toilets, running out of gas, discussing money owed by friends, funerals, spinach, inconsiderate people.

Things I wished I liked: sweat, not flossing, being by myself, eating less than 500 calories a day, waking up at 5:00am, martial arts, playing competitve sports, a high stress job with a psychotic boss, veggies ad nauseum, working out until I puke.

Things I wished I didn't like: food, sex, crass humor like South Park, staying up late, The Sims, pretzels dipped in french onion dip, all things cream cheese, sugar, anything alcoholic.

Wrapping up the websurfing, going to drink the iced tea, do dishes, mail bills, look for Mother's day and father's birthday gifts in sales circulars, then workout. Stop by grocery for O'douls and yogurt, stores for gifts, then home where I will fold clothes and watch Dr. Phil. Make bed, police the house, start dinner. Watch Star Trek:TNG (Nemesis is also out this month, is this not THE best birthday month???!!!!????!!!???!!! Knit like a fiend. Watch South Park. Between the start dinner and South Park is playing/spending time with child. After South Park is spending time with husband if he's still awake. ;D Tomorrow, mail gifts and pray they get there on time, which they won't but oh well.

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Still tired today, plus HUNGRY. OMG! I've had my 1200 calories for the day, plus, just couldn't workout on the stairs for a full 30 minutes, only did 18.

I replied to the CK bitch with a "You asked, I answered" and no one's posted a thing. Bitch.

::scrambling for the Zoloft bottle::

I've been half asleep all day today, very odd for me. I'm sleeping a lot more, too, but not oversleeping, I don't think. Usually, I get 6-7 hours, but lately have been sleeping that plus 3 hour naps. I think tomorrow instead of napping, I'll workout myself awake. I have a hour of housecleaning and another hour of yoga scheduled. Something to stretch me out a little. :) The house is so clean now, it's hard to come up with something to do. Very nice.

I'm still doing the daily tasks, but the printer is on the other computer, and since this is midweek, I'm printing the new one on Monday. As long as I water the plants on Friday, procrastination won't hurt. ;)

Hey! There are 13 adults and 5 teens in my knitting class tomorrow night. Tres cool! They'll have fun.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Someone Needs a Valium, Obviously

I thought I was tired on the 11th.


Everything hurts, even the muscles in my fingers.

This lady on the calorie king forum has pissed me off by asking me a question, then answering 'Whatever' to my answer. That's one of THE fastest ways to anger me, I HATE that.

What a pig.

I'm your best friend until you're an jerk, then I loath you forever.

Jesus forgives, *I* don't.

Friday, April 11, 2003

The nice thing is that I'm consistantly inconsistant.

Also very tired. I work on the house plus work out during the day. This means if I want to goof off, I do it at night between 9pm and 3-4am. Up at 8, so at most I'm getting 5 hours a night sleep. :P Must work on that.

House is a hell-hole despite whatever I've done. I do have three perfect rooms in the house, though, right down to the oiled baseboards. I have four hours of house cleaning scheduled, if nothing else, for the calories. Wanted to update this, though, before I take a nap.

Down to 162, yippee!!!! I'm also logging in my stuff at Here's the daily counts of food and stuff: Laura's Public Calorie Log

I'm brutally honest. If there's a choco bunny binge, it's logged. I'm working to keep the calories eaten to under 1000.

It doesn't tell you how much I've worked out, though, and since my weight loss is sluggish, I've ramped up my workout. Here's the goal: 15 mins of yoga, 30 mins of Jane Fonda and 20 mins of Billy Blanks, 20-45 mins of stair climber. This is supposed to be every day with weight training for the upper body added on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays.

Kazaa has been eating up my time. We're dialup so downloading anything takes aeons. I have new cds burned with fun music that keeps me moving.

Today's tasks:
Call insurance company
Clean house for four hours-I'm not being specific, it all needs a good scrub.
Grocery shop for the week-NEED COFFEEEEEE!!!!!

Thursday, April 03, 2003

It's been a month? Where has the time gone?

I've been busy.

Erasey erasey. I've not been following much of anything.

Uncle died, very very sad, saw family, very very good. I love my cousins, they're great people.

Check engine light was a sensor which is being fixed as I type this.

Did new sweater for BIL (brother in law), he likes it. Working on fish-shaped socks for Dad and afghan for friend.

What the heck was I talking about on the happiness journal?? Whatever?

Kits sales are way down. First class sales equals all other classes' sales. One more class until November, so I'm not earning until then. Oh well. We're getting a healthy tax refund (meaning we don't have to pay in for the first time in YEARS!!) and are refinancing the house, so maybe the depressing financial cloud because I quit work and "work=money=worth as a human being" will lift that follows me. (trying to keep my participles from dangling)

Need to watch Animal Cops and becoming those people... :0 House is messy and the pets need care. Will get child to help, since they're her pets.

Ok, I'd lost down to 161, then ate my way back up to 165, I think. Actually, it's 'that' time (like you REALLY wanted to know), and I'm one of those 'bloaters' that balloon up by 3-8 lbs for 1-2 weeks a month. I spend half the year as the Sta-Puff marshmallow guy. :P

On the PLUS side, 165 is my new personal high weight, lowering the previous 170 limit, plus, I can still wear size 10s, even at 165, so I know it's water weight. Now, my goal is to set 160 as the high weight, which means I need to get down to 155. :P

I can do this. I work out for no less that 30 minutes a day, whether at the gym on the stair climber (burns 260-330 cals, depending on if I go 30 or 45 mins), or with the aerobics tapes at home. Jane Fonda's 1980's tape is my favorite, it works for me. The Billy Blanks Kickology is almost too easy and is fun to do with my child. We'll sometimes do that. Then, too, I need to do more of the Yoga because I've been skipping it for the past week. Going to the funeral really messed up my workout schedule, but it was so worth it. Now when I think about working out, I do it for my uncle and do it because he should have. It would have kept him healthier and he died way too young at 61.

I do need to post my food journal. It varies from 1000-1800 calories a day, plus, now that I'm on Calorie King, I'll get an accurate pic of what my nutrients are.

Also, there's something else I need to try. Sleeping. Seriously. We bought a new computer over the weekend and it's fun. I've been too busy surfing and looking for Sims things to update this. :D Went to bed at 3:00am the night before, then 4:00am last night. Of course I still wake up at 8:00am to get the child to school and have been too busy running errands to take a nap. I have a few loose ends to wrap up today, but as soon as I'm done typing this, I'm taking a nap. I'm a total of seven hours behind in sleep from the last two days alone, never mind that I seem to stay sleep-deprived. (PMS causes insomnia. So does a new,4x better computer!!)

Tasks today:
Mail bills
Workout (Yoga, then Fonda)
Errands with child (must get cat food and litter!!!!!)
Pick up husband
Clean for 2 hours (added in the calories burned into my online cals burned journal for the day)

This is in my preferred order, things could change and always do.

Nap time!

Monday, March 03, 2003

I feel much better today. Blame it on the hormones.

Can you believe? Child and I did Blank's Kickology last night, then PM Yoga. It's tougher than the AM, or at least, I'm not as used to it, so I'm a bit sore today.

While driving around all over town Saturday (teaching, child, visiting sister, German restaurant and movies) my check engine line kept coming on and off, so I'm afoot today. I 'could' go to the gym at night instead of my usual 10-2 mid-day time. It'll have to be after 8, after dinner and digestion.

Not happy about the child-sized sweater for my brother in law. Have the new one started and will give the prior one to Small Fry.

Patrick Stewart is on SNL. Makes being a working at home Mom fabulous. :D

Found a happiness journal/5 steps to happiness that I'm going to take a look at. True happiness comes from within, I just seem to have misplaced mine. :)

The beloved list. I need to print a new one and this time stick to it. Last week, I had to run all over getting read for a class that I got nothing else done. Prepared nearly 45 kits, sold 3. :P Tomorrow is another class, though. :D

Know what really helps me with my goals? Watching Cops and Animal Precinct (sp???). I don't want to be those people.

Haven't lost too much weight. At 165 today, which isn't too bad considering I started the year at 170. Still, though, 2.5 lbs a month? A lot of the weight lost journals have their people losing 10 times that much in a month. I guess if it goes slow, it'll come back on slow. :P It's tough not see any progress, but you know, even though I have temptations and sometimes cheat, it's never a bad cheat. Even on cheat days, I eat less than I did before the diet. Plus, my stomach just can't hold as much. Buffets are becoming a waste of money because I can't eat more than a plateful. ;P

Thursday, February 27, 2003

It's been a week.

This is PMS week, at least, that's my excuse. I'm not losing any weight, but then I've been cheating on the food. Not cheating on the exercise, though. I'm up to 45 minutes on the stair climber and I'd started out with 10 minutes being good. :P

I hate me and I'm tired of hating me. The diet thing isn't working, even though the exercise is, the housecleaning isn't working because it's never done, the knitting thing isn't working because I spend so much time cleaning house that I don't get anything knitted.

I'm going to do some research on becoming more effective, because at this point I'm a supremo loser. My one redeeming quality is that I CAN spell loser. Most people spell it at looser. Or maybe it's failure. Yeah, I'm a failure because at least I try, you know?

I know, I'm a downer. This is the second year of depression and nothing I do matters. I really must find something that makes me happy.

Friday, February 21, 2003


I know. I'm supposed to do this every day, but....

Ok, on Wednesday I did very well. I did everything on the list except the retainers, writing, and knitting. :P Thursday I did everything except write, knit, but did do the retainers. :) The bad thing is, I didn't make the bed today or yesterday. :P Today, I did everything except bed, writing, and knitting. It's early for the face and teeth, plus, I didn't do the yoga. I did happen to Do the stairs today at the 4-5-6 levels, and that's all for today. Yesterday it was a double decker with Fonda and Blanks' tapes.

Having done nearly everything, I'm working through papers in a little filer I have. Happened to run across some looseleaf journaling I'd done as part of a counseling stint to manage my anger. Now I know that nothing I could do would control the seretonin and how the receptors work. When I'm hopped up on zoloft and become furious, you KNOW it's got to be bad. I mean, really.

There's a lot about me I'd like to change. I'm not happy with myself and the fact that I'm not happy with myself. Making sense, yet? Figuring out who I want to be (that's a version of me, of course) is one of those goals thing I want to do. I don't know just what I'll feel comfortable being, at the moment. :)

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

Nine days? Where the heck did they go?

This 'perfection' thing is hard.

The Valentine's day party went off without a hitch. Afterwards, I went to Walmart for a cake. After a conversation, the manager at the bakery wanted me to fill out an app to work there. I want to, still, but.... To be brutally honest, I'd looked forward to getting season passes to Oceans of Fun for child and me. Every Union Bank Day, I have her put in $10 towards that goal. I'll pay for my pass via my knitting classes. :)

I've modified my 'list' to include things I do that are extra, plus exclude the things I hate. For instance, I hate warm lemon water first thing in the morning, but love getting 80oz of water a day. I've also added extra working out to videotapes, but am having difficulty with that. :P My piriformus muscle is giving me grief today. I did the stairclimber for 30, 10 at level 4, 10 at level 5, 10 at level 6, yesterday, plus the 15 mins of yoga and then... Jane Fonda from the early 80's. Believe it or not, my body has changed in the past 20 years for the worse. That so f*ing sucks. I even took it easy on myself. My weight is down a pound to 166. Not bad, but not good, either.

The good news is that my mom had the same problems losing her weight at my age. She dieted much harder than I have for three months before it came off. Whew. My body's not fat, it's efficient. Too bad that's the only part of me that is. :P

Ok, the 'perfect' list:

Yoga I will probably do this so that my hip/butt muscles will quit hurting

Shower I want to color my hair and will probably put this off until after I color, today.

Breakfast-200 Calories (Cals) I'm coming in under at 80 cals, but am STARVING.

Kitchen (short for dishes, counters, stove cleaning) The dishes are soaking, I need to do this today.

Make beds, pick up clothes (combined because I always do these at the same time) I'll do this today, before yoga.

Vacuum Before I do this, I need to empty the pets' areas, THEN vacuum. I also want to do this before I shower because I feel icky afterward.

Stairclimber I'd missed Monday, so I should have done this then instead of yesterday. I'm really fighting the urge... I want to go and knock out 30 mins, which is 200 calories burned. I dunno, I may give myself some time off, just so I don't imobilize myself.

Tennis or Rollerblade with child I promised her we'd do something fun after school. She needs the activity. :P

Lunch 200 Cals Still starving and don't know what I'll have. Maybe a salad that's under 100 cals. THAT would be cool.

Write I'm feeling the urge to write today, for the first time in a very long time. Since I'm 'hurt', I may take advantage of this...

Dinner 300 Cals Must plan for this so I don't overeat. :P Have no idea what to fix, yet.

Knit Really must finish Brother In Law's sweater, only have the sleeves to do, now. Mental note to start this year's Christmas in July, maybe June. :P

80 oz water Easy to do, a third of the way there already. :D

Hour of Cleaning house This'll be the pet areas, but again, I'm afraid of the bending and picking up thing. Maybe I'll just sort and file papers. :D

Wash face and do retainers before bed. I have been so bad about not doing this and it shows. :P MUST make this a #1 priority.

There you are, my list of things to do. I'll check in tomorrow with how well I did. :D

Update on evil friend. Everything is falling apart for her and yeah, I do feel bad. Not forgiving, but bad for her. In the Karma's a Bitch department, someone broke into her car and stole her insurance, registration, and car tags, or so she says. It's tough for me to believe anything she says at this point. If it is true, well, then, she can join the group of people that were evil to me and have paid dearly for it. It also motivates me to be kinder to people. I need to do more good deeds, I think. :)

Monday, February 10, 2003

Still pissed. Posted something in the forum about 'Wouldn't it be nice to hear from the sick one in here, like she promised?' She replies, saying, was busy (yeah) and sorry (not) if she pissed anyone off (me).


It's not the first time I've let a friend go, and it probably won't be the last.

Ok, ok. This is supposed to be about me striving for perfection. I'm weeding through my todo list, doing the Yoga(100 cals), dishes, making bed, picking up clothes, and of course, eating. So far, it's been 70+120+80 calories today, and I've burned off 220 on stairs and treadmills, and 100 calories in weightlifting. If I stick to the plan of cleaning house for an extra hour today, that adds 260 to the burn list. I binged on cookies yesterday, and if I space it out, I can lose those calories and then some. If I stick to this, I'll have a net intake of -180 calories. I don't know about the hour of housework, and really, I do need to do it since I skipped the list entirely over the weekend. All my undone weekend chores are sitting around, staring me in the face. :(

I stopped by the school to drop off money for the librarian's baby gift (yes, the one who in her last month is just NOW looking pregnant), and apologized for my workout clothes. :P The secretary said I was lucky, she has to get up at 5am to work out. Now, see, that's one of my "If 'I' were perfect" things I tell myself all the time. A 'perfect' person wakes up at 4:30am and works out at 5:00-6:00, gets ready for work, and is there by 7:00. It would be far easier for me to stay up until 4:30 than it would be to wake up then. Unless there's a plane to catch. For some reason, I'm UP no matter what the time if I have a chance of going somewhere fun. :D

I think I'm going to do something fun. I know, I have that hour of cleaning house, but still. I've been really depressed the past couple of days, maybe even the past week, and I think I want to curl up with some knitting and a kill-me funny movie. I don't think I deserve it, but I do know I need it. I've added some inspriational quotes, then some 'mood of the moment' quotes, too. On the letting a friend go quote, is it me who's letting a friend go, or have I already been let go......?

Sometimes, A Girl Just Has To Be Angry

I hate my bitch friend. She supposedly has this tumor, was going to call and give me info on how bad it was, and does she call? Hell no. HER spend money on ME? USE up the 1500 she owes us? Heaven forbid!

So, I'm up in the middle of the night, pissed as hell that I can't do a damned thing. I'm going to have to think of something, though. Even if it's doing nothing and letting Karma kick her in the ass. For this, I'd become a Buddist.

Bitch. I'm really beginning to hate her.


Sunday, February 09, 2003

Will this work?

The current mood of at
Headache is over, now I'm just tired, still. Friday, I spent calling around to insurance, pharmacy, doctor, trying to see what I needed that was new and improved. By the time everything was settled, my headache was gone. :P

I'm still sleepy, but it's from me being stupid. I stayed up too late last night trying to win at Age of Empires.

I'm down to 163, but have been eating cookies today. They're 'cheap' in calories, but.... I'm hoping to keep the damage minimal, say under 1500 calories for the day. I have to run errands tomorrow, so of course I'm stopping by the gym. I may do the stairs for 30 mins at 3, then up the intensity for a few moments to really stretch my endurance. The 30 will give me some added calorie burns.

No war so far. Bush was just going to say he is pissed and that the UN had better make good on their promises. I'm so sleepy, I think I'm going to take a nap.

Thursday, February 06, 2003

Now, what was it I was going to do, again.

Honestly, this headache is kicking my butt. It's a doozy. I went ahead and ate a yogurt because I took another med an hour ago. I just took another, which is my last one for the day or I'm OD.

I did everything below except the aeorbics and yoga, which adds up to 234. Hmm. Here I was looking forward to a negative calorie count for the day. :( Unless I just eat the salad and maybe a snack..... that's an idea. Yogurt = 80, orange = 90, = 170. 64 left plus I'll probably burn more than that.

Oh crap, gotta go. Special report by Bush about Iraq. Jennings thinks he's going to allow a scond inspection before declaring war. We'll see.
Stupid f*ing brain hurts today. Sorry for language, but I didn't want this. Teaching class while under the influence should be fun. Midrin has sedatives so I'm sure to be the Bob Ross of knitting. "Now, let's make happy yarn-overs, everyone..."

I did EVERYTHING on my list yesterday except PM Yoga and face washing for the night. I know, but still, when I worked out, I did the stair stepper for a full 20 minutes, exceeding the prior 10 minutes. Plus, I did 5 minutes at level 3, another 5 at level 4, then 5 at 5, then back down to 5 at 4. Cool, huh? Then I walked at 3.5 mph for 10 minutes. I'd also done well on keeping the cals down. I'd worked out so much and ate so little that at 2:00pm, my net calories were at zero. :) I ate little dinner, but then binged on 2 cups of cereal. It added 500 cals to my daily total of 1100. Then this morning, my Weight Commander said it expects my weight to go up, since it'd stayed at 166 for the past three days and that if I wanted to change the new upward trend, I needed to work out more and eat less.

Fine. As soon as my headache is adequately medicated, I'm working out here at home and I'm keeping my calories to 500 or less today. I do not want to be this fat any more. If my body wants to be a jerk and metabolically sabotage me until I have to work out 2 hours every day and eat 500 cals a day to lose weight, so be it. I'm the boss of my body, I choose how and when I gain weight and if my body doesn't get the message, well, then, I'll just keep at it until it learns. I had an orange for breakfast, and since I am teaching class, I'm waiting to eat a snack with V when she gets home and then maybe a budget gourmet and yogurt before I leave for class. It'll add up to 460, so the snack can be a salad with basalmic vinegar. Crunchies will add 40 cals and bring me right at 500 calories for the day. Here are my plans for between now, 12:30, and leaving for class at 5:00...

Activities Number of minutes Calories burned
Aerobics 45 336
Cooking 10 29
House cleaning 30 134
Showering 15 71
Yoga 30 199
Total calories burned 769

Cool, huh? I can totally eradicate my calories today. I'll let you know how it goes.....

Wednesday, February 05, 2003

I am a Nuclear Baby. I was born in the spring of 1965 and have lived with the constant and background threat of WW3 wiping out everything susceptible to radiation. Every time sirens go off, I pause, waiting for the word that the nukes will arrive in 30 minutes. In fact, even though I grew up in Tornado Alley, I sigh with relief when the tornado alarms go off, relieved that it's not for a nuclear reason. All of my life, I've had Nuclear War nightmares.

That said, someone needs to tell the Emergency Broadcast System that you DON'T F*ING test the system during a live CNN broadcast discussing Iraq's NUCLEAR CAPABILITY!!!! No, no no! I'd love to see how high my blood pressure is right now.....

I'll post later, I'm still reading this compelling weight loss diary by Heather. Also have a bit of a fever and head cold, but really must shower and exercise.

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

This so sucks. I weighed in at 166 today and have been as high as 170 since my last post. Blame it on PMS, I suppose. Aunt Flo was supposed to visit today, but has yet to make an appearance. Probably she'll get here Thursday, while I'm in rush hour traffic to Grandview.

But wait, you say, didn't you do the Beginning Knitting class in Grandview LAST week? Yes, I did and Thursday's is a continuations. :D More money and more success (which is the better of the two). I'm actually optimistic about this knitting biz. :)

Ok, on the exercizing...I'm doing 10 minutes on a stair stepper, increasing the resistance by one every two minutes. My quads tend to tire but aren't sore the next day due to my walking another 10 minutes at 3.5 mph. Working out is dull, but I liven it up by listening to Latin music. I tend to want to give extra oomph by shaking my hips to the music. It's bad enough being fat in a gym, I don't want to be a fat idiot so I limit the cha-cha while on the stair stepper. :P I also do stretches, if not my AM Yoga, then no less than 30 crunches. Sometimes I crunch fast, mostly I make myself go slow. I'm trying something new. On Fridays, I do this new thing called slow weight training. I go on the circuit machines and make each repetition last 20 seconds. 10 secs up or out, 10 secs down or in with a slow exhale/inhale as the situation warrants. I was sore after last Friday, so there must have been some good. I'd like to be up to 30 mins on the stair stepper at level 10. Maybe by then I'll be down in weight and can start running again. Right now, the trainer recommends against it, accurately guessing I have problems with shin splints. The stairs are no impact and raises my heart rate, as does the walking. I'll walk at least as fast as 3.5 mph, sometimes, I'll go ahead and run, just for the fun of it. Weird. "I" said THAT???? :D

Food. Gawd, what to say? I have good days, and bad. Today was really good. I'm squeeking in at 646, but don't be alarmed, yesterday was 1700 and the day before that was 1040. (my former IRS agent husband just thought, "Wow" at the 1040 form reference). I'd made a lowcal cake with preserves and cream cheese, then ate most of it, yesterday. That's where the 1000 comes from, the 700 was normal, lite food. I'm not keeping as good a track of what I eat as much as I count the calories, and I always try to over estimate. In the past 15 days I've averaged 1400 calories a day. After working out three times a week, I've used up at least 300 extra calories a week. That adds up to nearly 5lbs in a year. What a crock. Burning cals in working out is not the way to go, unless you're walking miles and miles a day. I suppose I have the time, heck, I know I do have the time to walk miles a day, but I'd rather be cleaning house. It's more generally productive. Walking only benefits me and I can't really do anything else but walk. Cleaning house helps everyone in my family. I cleaned out the bookshelves today, four tall ones. Gave away a box of romances to my husband's friend's wife, who is my friend, too. She's a sweetheart, the one who rescued us when my car decided to dump its radiator fluid. :P

Ok, weight issues aside, this has been a slow week on the house cleaning scale and I need to nail down why. My list is barely being followed, I'm really disappointed in how I'm not completely following it or the monthly tasks. I'll have to get on here tomorrow and update you all on this. I did happen to find some really fab templates for MS Word and Excel that'll give me a great shopping list for diet foods (not costly if you limit portions), an estimated body fat calculation based on weight and measurements, and another format of todo lists. I might use it, then, I might not.

Controversial parenting issue: I ran the numbers and while our daughter, seven years old, is 4'1.5", she is 90lbs with clothes on. This is not good. She will cease being overweight for her height and age when she reaches 60lbs. I dunno, that seems awfully skinny, her classmates tend to look sickly because they're so thin. Tonight, I explained to her why exactly I don't want her to get double portions at school (they serve chicken nuggets, can you believe?) and for every day she doesn't get double, I'll have a healthy and very tasty snack waiting at home for her. (Low cal so if she does get double, I'll eat it myself) I've been reading a lot of weight loss diaries and shared one with Miss V. There was this one girl who'd make the rounds asking for leftovers during her school lunch and as an adult topped 375lbs. I read the story to V and told her it matters when she eats too much and for God's sake don't ask for other kid's leftovers. I'm hoping she's honest with me, she tends to lie if she thinks she'll be punished, which is even worse. I can stand a lot of things but lying shows cowardice and I don't want her to be that. I'm probably harshing on her weight too much, but honestly, I don't want the other kids to call her fatty or for her to feel bad about herself. Especially if there's something she can do about it. Also, it's the whole health issue. If she learns healthy eating now, it'll not be such a struggle when she's an adult.

So, anyway, for the possible parenting trouble. I explained to her that she needs not to ask for double, that I'll give her peanut butter on apple slices (the pb is drizzled on the slices like chocolate on those fancy desserts in expensive restaurants), which she seems to love. I'll try to make it a fun surprize every day. They don't get much lunch, but when it's fried, a little goes a long way. Plus, she gets home at 4:15 and it's often 7:15 before we eat. With lunch at 11:20, that's a very long stretch without food and her metabolism will just die. I showed her a 'pro-ana' website, which is one of those pro-anorexia website. It had a page of warning pictures with some women a little older than me weighing 49lbs. Walking skeletons, very scary. I showed V and she was shocked. I was honest with her and said I didn't want her that skinny or, then I clicked over to a fat acceptance site, nor that heavy. Neither one was healthy and both types have heart attacks at very early ages (22 yrs old). I said I wanted her in between and healthy and that's why I say don't sneak food or get double portions.

Next, we'll start on becoming more active. I firmly believe in getting one habit established before trying to begin another. It's a major lesson I've learned in my own struggle to meet my standards. I still don't meet them, but hey, one habit at a time. :) Now, it's habit for me to sweep the house first thing in the morning, picking up clothes, trash, and dishes, then doing the dishes and starting the laundry. I also have the powerful urge to workout on MWF, and even then, I want to work out on Tues and Thurs. Today, I did my AM yoga, and if I hadn't got distracted by the internet, I would have done my Jane Fonda just because I want to.

Acutally, I'm dreading that one. I used to do it in high school and college. In the few times I've tried it since, I've not done as well. As a matter of fact, I remember my Mom working out with me, her being the same age as I am now, and I know I can't do as well as she did then. I tell myself the important thing is that I get it done and that each time I do it is a little better than the time before. I compete against myself. To do so against anyone else would be too depressing. ;)

I think I'll have to wrap this up. I took cold meds and I would like to read a few more of the wieght loss diary I'm reading right now. :) I think she's more entertaining than I am.

The latest diaries have 'epiphinies' listed. I'll have to think of mine in more detail and post. My weight loss is going so slowly that I want to quit, but then I think, fine, I'll just cut calories and up the exercising until my weight has NO CHOICE but to fall off me. >:|

Forgive the spelling and grammar, I'm too lazy tonight and remember the cold med, so I'm too lazy to cut, paste, check, cut, paste back.

Monday, January 27, 2003

I've lost 1.5 lbs since starting my diet on Jan 22. :) It's amazing because I'd splurged and had 1200+ calories for the day yesterday. Just in case you think I'm anorexic, I'm not. I'm a hefty 165.5 at 5'3".

Commercial for golden stuffed crust Pizza Hut pizza is on. I'd bet anything that those people sit around, trying their best to make a bad thing worse. Stuff the crust AND add cheese on top of that? Oh Lordy. :P

I got everything done on Sunday except the vacuuming. Yeah, but hey, it's almost everything. :D At this point, I'll settle.

:P I gave my to-do list for the week, which also had my food and calories on it, to the trainer. He said I needed more protein, which if it's in the form of shimp, well, ok. :D

So, we will go with today.
The only thing I've done is eat, drink water, and do the dishes. I did work out, but am sooooo sleepy that coffee sounds like a good idea.

The washing mashine WASN'T broken, it had just leaked when it was off center. :) My husband helped move the washer around, and it's amazing someone so wiry can be so strong. He was a big help with me figuring out that nothing was wrong. ;)

The child is home. My time is not my own any more. Must go and be her slave. Actually, with a switch to Spongebob......... I could probably take a nap.

I've done a little bit of laundry, also. Looking forward to my second wind tonight.
I'll post more about how well my knitting classes are going and my friends new kid. :)

Saturday, January 25, 2003

While I'm thinking about it, here is tomorrow's list of to-dos.

Leftover from Saturday:
Wash Sheets

Sunday list
Morning Yoga
I don't do the lemon water any more. Got sick of it and have tried something new. Two teaspoons of cider vinegar in a large glass of water. I use my 33oz water bottle, now full of tap. I've lost my fetish about it, now it's just a treat.
Shower I know, but it's fun to cross it off the list and when I'm depressed I think why bother?
Breakfast-Coffee and two "biscuits". These are almond biscotti that total 150 cals.
80 oz of water
Dishes, Countertops, and Stove cleaning Not that I clean the stove inside, just the top and burners.
Make beds (hoping to get husband out of it long enough to wash sheets, at least. :P)
Pick up clothes
Write I don't know if I'm going to do this. I may not have the time....
Lunch-Ramen soup One pack is 360 cals. Not the best, but not the worst.
One Monthly Task-since I NEED to vacuum, I'll probably change the bag, then vacuum the rooms' edges and chairs.
Dinner-I don't know what I'll fix...If I allow a snack a fruit, I can have 400 cals for dinner.
Knit-I will probably do this. :D Plug in a movie upstairs, or watch the History Channel if something besides Teddy Roosevelt is on. I've seen it already. :P
Clean Pet Areas-Done already, I get to wait until next Sunday.
Put out Trash-Hopefully, the husband will do this since it's freaking freezing out there.
Sweep outside-No, since the snow covers everything. :P
Evening Yoga-I haven't done this since starting the list and I probably won't do it tomorrow.
Face and Teeth-Must do.

Extra task I loath to even think about.
The Washing Machine. It spun off balance for a while and knocked itself out of kilter. Now it leaks, so I have to pull it from the back, then level it. The utility room is cold and the washer is heavy so I really don't want to F with it. My husband has zero mechanical skills while people who review my mechanical aptitude tests assume I'm male because I score so well... So, I'll probably do the work. I already have a bruise from trying to feel around in the back to see where the leak originates. Sometimes, I just want to be the helpless female who has the man fix things for her. And really fixes them. :P

I'm looking forward to blogging tomorrow, just to report my progress.
I have decided I have a boring life.


Ok, well, the good news is, I made money off my knitting class. I know, big whoop, but still. Money is money. Especially if I earned it myself.

The perfect life still eludes me.

I shall use whitespace to make me more exciting. How about that?

No, seriously, I was doing good on 3 times a week workout until the snow. That and the car leaking slowed me down a bit, so probably tomorrow I'll go and then cancel the appt on Monday to meet with a trainer. It's $35 a session, which I don't mind so much, but dang, that'd buy a lot of yarn. :D I know. I'm obsessed.

With snow days and MLK day holidays, the Fry has been home and that throws my schedule off because 50% of the time is spent arguing about why she can't eat everything in the house or why she can't go get frostbite.

I have also discovered that I can not make the bed or wash the sheets if my husband leaves the bed only for food or potty breaks. It's his first day off in nineteen days, so he either spent it in bed or shoveling the walk. How's that for an opposite ends thing?

I did clean out the fridge yesterday. By that, I mean I even took out every shelf in the thing and scrubbed it down. None of this mamby pamby tossing of lab experiments. :D

Ok, the list.
I've been doing great on the 80oz of water, making beds, doing dishes, picking up clothes, and checking on the animals. The aerobics happen three times a week, sometimes, the yoga on days other than that. The food things have been fab these past three days. I've gotten serious about my diet, and am keeping the cal count to under 1100. I haven't lost anything substantial in the meantime, but then, it's been only three days. This goes along with perfection, because, if I were perfect, I'd weigh 100lbs even. Right now, I'm a bit above that at 167. I know. Lard butt. If I lost every ounce of fat on my body, I'd weigh 107. Yes, I want to lose muscle. I have frog legs and no, they're not fat.

I don't ever do the evening Yoga program. Plus, I often forget the face care (I'm 37, I HAVE to do this to keep wrinkles at bay) and the tooth care (retainers). I rarely ever write, but I do knit.

I've so got to get better about this, plus, I really must sit down and do my daily goals.

Friday, January 03, 2003

Yay! Headache is over! I've been catching up on email and getting ready for our girls' day out with my kidlet. I'm going to pick up the meds at Targe. Then, heck, I dunno, lunch maybe? I'm still worn out from the migraine, plus, we have plans with my sister tonight, so I don't know about when I'll sit down and do the goals thing. Probably on the first day of school.

Wednesday, January 01, 2003

A New Year!

Ok, first day of the new year and I wake up with a headache. This year, I resolve to absolve. Particularly, when I have a migraine that nearly incapacitates me, I'm NOT going to pretend nothing's wrong, like I usually do. I'm going to let myself had a major day off from the "You must be Perfect" ideal I'm striving for. So, today will be a wash, but tomorrow will be great, since I'd started the headache yesterday. These things usually never last more than two days.

I'm doing the year's goals today and tomorrow and a big part of that is to get both businesses off the ground, the writing and the clothing design.

I'll give the whole lowdown when my head quits hurting. The bad thing is I didn't have a drop of drink, yet feel like I'm hung over.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race