This so sucks. I weighed in at 166 today and have been as high as 170 since my last post. Blame it on PMS, I suppose. Aunt Flo was supposed to visit today, but has yet to make an appearance. Probably she'll get here Thursday, while I'm in rush hour traffic to Grandview.

But wait, you say, didn't you do the Beginning Knitting class in Grandview LAST week? Yes, I did and Thursday's is a continuations. :D More money and more success (which is the better of the two). I'm actually optimistic about this knitting biz. :)

Ok, on the exercizing...I'm doing 10 minutes on a stair stepper, increasing the resistance by one every two minutes. My quads tend to tire but aren't sore the next day due to my walking another 10 minutes at 3.5 mph. Working out is dull, but I liven it up by listening to Latin music. I tend to want to give extra oomph by shaking my hips to the music. It's bad enough being fat in a gym, I don't want to be a fat idiot so I limit the cha-cha while on the stair stepper. :P I also do stretches, if not my AM Yoga, then no less than 30 crunches. Sometimes I crunch fast, mostly I make myself go slow. I'm trying something new. On Fridays, I do this new thing called slow weight training. I go on the circuit machines and make each repetition last 20 seconds. 10 secs up or out, 10 secs down or in with a slow exhale/inhale as the situation warrants. I was sore after last Friday, so there must have been some good. I'd like to be up to 30 mins on the stair stepper at level 10. Maybe by then I'll be down in weight and can start running again. Right now, the trainer recommends against it, accurately guessing I have problems with shin splints. The stairs are no impact and raises my heart rate, as does the walking. I'll walk at least as fast as 3.5 mph, sometimes, I'll go ahead and run, just for the fun of it. Weird. "I" said THAT???? :D

Food. Gawd, what to say? I have good days, and bad. Today was really good. I'm squeeking in at 646, but don't be alarmed, yesterday was 1700 and the day before that was 1040. (my former IRS agent husband just thought, "Wow" at the 1040 form reference). I'd made a lowcal cake with preserves and cream cheese, then ate most of it, yesterday. That's where the 1000 comes from, the 700 was normal, lite food. I'm not keeping as good a track of what I eat as much as I count the calories, and I always try to over estimate. In the past 15 days I've averaged 1400 calories a day. After working out three times a week, I've used up at least 300 extra calories a week. That adds up to nearly 5lbs in a year. What a crock. Burning cals in working out is not the way to go, unless you're walking miles and miles a day. I suppose I have the time, heck, I know I do have the time to walk miles a day, but I'd rather be cleaning house. It's more generally productive. Walking only benefits me and I can't really do anything else but walk. Cleaning house helps everyone in my family. I cleaned out the bookshelves today, four tall ones. Gave away a box of romances to my husband's friend's wife, who is my friend, too. She's a sweetheart, the one who rescued us when my car decided to dump its radiator fluid. :P

Ok, weight issues aside, this has been a slow week on the house cleaning scale and I need to nail down why. My list is barely being followed, I'm really disappointed in how I'm not completely following it or the monthly tasks. I'll have to get on here tomorrow and update you all on this. I did happen to find some really fab templates for MS Word and Excel that'll give me a great shopping list for diet foods (not costly if you limit portions), an estimated body fat calculation based on weight and measurements, and another format of todo lists. I might use it, then, I might not.

Controversial parenting issue: I ran the numbers and while our daughter, seven years old, is 4'1.5", she is 90lbs with clothes on. This is not good. She will cease being overweight for her height and age when she reaches 60lbs. I dunno, that seems awfully skinny, her classmates tend to look sickly because they're so thin. Tonight, I explained to her why exactly I don't want her to get double portions at school (they serve chicken nuggets, can you believe?) and for every day she doesn't get double, I'll have a healthy and very tasty snack waiting at home for her. (Low cal so if she does get double, I'll eat it myself) I've been reading a lot of weight loss diaries and shared one with Miss V. There was this one girl who'd make the rounds asking for leftovers during her school lunch and as an adult topped 375lbs. I read the story to V and told her it matters when she eats too much and for God's sake don't ask for other kid's leftovers. I'm hoping she's honest with me, she tends to lie if she thinks she'll be punished, which is even worse. I can stand a lot of things but lying shows cowardice and I don't want her to be that. I'm probably harshing on her weight too much, but honestly, I don't want the other kids to call her fatty or for her to feel bad about herself. Especially if there's something she can do about it. Also, it's the whole health issue. If she learns healthy eating now, it'll not be such a struggle when she's an adult.

So, anyway, for the possible parenting trouble. I explained to her that she needs not to ask for double, that I'll give her peanut butter on apple slices (the pb is drizzled on the slices like chocolate on those fancy desserts in expensive restaurants), which she seems to love. I'll try to make it a fun surprize every day. They don't get much lunch, but when it's fried, a little goes a long way. Plus, she gets home at 4:15 and it's often 7:15 before we eat. With lunch at 11:20, that's a very long stretch without food and her metabolism will just die. I showed her a 'pro-ana' website, which is one of those pro-anorexia website. It had a page of warning pictures with some women a little older than me weighing 49lbs. Walking skeletons, very scary. I showed V and she was shocked. I was honest with her and said I didn't want her that skinny or, then I clicked over to a fat acceptance site, nor that heavy. Neither one was healthy and both types have heart attacks at very early ages (22 yrs old). I said I wanted her in between and healthy and that's why I say don't sneak food or get double portions.

Next, we'll start on becoming more active. I firmly believe in getting one habit established before trying to begin another. It's a major lesson I've learned in my own struggle to meet my standards. I still don't meet them, but hey, one habit at a time. :) Now, it's habit for me to sweep the house first thing in the morning, picking up clothes, trash, and dishes, then doing the dishes and starting the laundry. I also have the powerful urge to workout on MWF, and even then, I want to work out on Tues and Thurs. Today, I did my AM yoga, and if I hadn't got distracted by the internet, I would have done my Jane Fonda just because I want to.

Acutally, I'm dreading that one. I used to do it in high school and college. In the few times I've tried it since, I've not done as well. As a matter of fact, I remember my Mom working out with me, her being the same age as I am now, and I know I can't do as well as she did then. I tell myself the important thing is that I get it done and that each time I do it is a little better than the time before. I compete against myself. To do so against anyone else would be too depressing. ;)

I think I'll have to wrap this up. I took cold meds and I would like to read a few more of the wieght loss diary I'm reading right now. :) I think she's more entertaining than I am.

The latest diaries have 'epiphinies' listed. I'll have to think of mine in more detail and post. My weight loss is going so slowly that I want to quit, but then I think, fine, I'll just cut calories and up the exercising until my weight has NO CHOICE but to fall off me. >:|

Forgive the spelling and grammar, I'm too lazy tonight and remember the cold med, so I'm too lazy to cut, paste, check, cut, paste back.