What's today, Nov 6th? Gad, six days in and I've already ruined the month. You see, I volunteer at my child's library and this month, I'm listed twice to help. Usually, it's at the middle of the month, but this time, it was Nov 1, which I didn't show up for. (ending preposition? bad! bad!)

Plus, the librarian is one of those who is 10 months pregnant but is still as slim as a supermodel and is uber(super) organized and also looks like she keeps a hair and makeup person stashed in her luxurious master bathroom. You know, the one with the gold fixtures and 3 piece string orchestra. Anyway, I show up looking like some Monty Python's ratbag, this after an hour of applying makeup, wondering where I went wrong in life.... Now she truly knows what a major f***up I am by my not being there on my assigned day. I know, one mistake does not a loser make, but still, it's just one of a never ending stream of crap. (Hmmm BAD mental image with THAT one....must edit later)

Which leads to this blog. I have an amazing lack of self-discipline (I totally blame The Sims), am THE laziest person on Earth, yet have this drive to be perfect just so I don't get that inferior-trash-worthless feeling and treatment from others (I have examples). If I'm publicly accountable for my actions, if I know that one other person knows that I didn't do what I needed to, maybe that will propel me in the right direction. I'm going to wander around this site and put up my tasklist for today, somewhere.....