The Stages of Grief

Did you hear the wail?

Bad news, I've just learned a pattern I submitted was rejected by Knitty. The good news? I can sell it myself now on Ravelry. As soon as I crawl out from under the heavy rock of Depression. Which will probably be when all the wine in the fridge and chocolate chips are gone. Gimme a minute, would you?

This would be a good time to run through the five stages of grief, don't you think?

Denial:
Example - "Uh oh, a silly email mixup."; "Wait. Not use my pattern? The note said NOT?"

Anger:
Example - "They obviously don't know a decent pattern when they see one. Mine is the best ever written. Ask my Mom."; "If my model had even TRIED to smile in the photo, something he could never do for our wedding pictures, this wouldn't have happened. It's completely his fault."

Bargaining:
Example - "Maybe if I offered to get a different model, someone who's able to freakin' SMILE in the photo.";(I'm really good at the anger stage.) "How about a new description? Something wordy, edgy, and possibly plagiarized so they'll like it."

Depression:
Example - "Of course they rejected the pattern. It's totally retarded and should be shot, like me."(This last phrase is best cried out while trying to crawl under the bed. Add to the pathos.); "Everything I do is stupid. Except the dishes. And cleaning toilets." "I'm going to need a Prozac I.V."

Acceptance:
Example - "Hm, well, at least I can now sell it on Ravelry. As soon as I retake the pictures with a model who doesn't do an Eeyore impression in every photo." (I know, still with the anger.); "Maybe I could write a book 'Being Rejected for Fun and Profit'?" Which, would probably be rejected and I'd have to do all this all over again. Still, a cute little pattern book could be fun to write...

It's been an hour and I'm still feeling bad about it. How long does it take for these stages, anyway? Since I'm so depressed and angry over this, I'll probably give up designing. Of course, there's a sock pattern I've promised, a sweater pattern I'm in the middle of, and several other pattern ideas I need to do. After them, that's it. When all my stash of unassigned-to-a-pattern yarns is done, I'm not designing any more.

People who have seen my yarn room know I'll have to exceed my life expectancy or sell off my stash to be able to stop designing. ;) I actually have to design, even if it's only for family to wear/endure.

After all that, how do I really feel? They had a limited amount of patterns to publish, I'm a first-timer and not heavily popular. They need web traffic, who doesn't? The pictures weren't taken outside and didn't heavily show detail. My description of the pattern was a bit concise, unlike my other writing. It could have been THE perfect pattern, but with all these little nit-pickies against it, there's no way for the sweater to have been included. Too much competition for the submission to be the slighted bit imperfect. Ah well, work harder on the next one is all I can do.