Monday, March 24, 2008

I don't care for Ravelry forums.

No, I don't. Unless I actually know the people and they know me. Some of the people on the forums have this idea than I'm a moralistic religious fanatic that wants to turn the world into a nicy nice zombieville.

Even my Mom is wondering, "They're talking about you?" Sure, I have morals, but not so many I'm no fun. Enough to keep me out of jail, but not so many I wouldn't flirt with the hot cop trying to book me. I mean, come on.

I'd piped up on an "Is this appropriate" thread in the group thing. Mainly my point was maybe if what you post isn't safe for work, then should it really be posted? I'm running around all day, with the computer in the kitchen, and don't let things rated higher than PG-13 on the screen. Which is silly, I suppose, since the screen saver kicks in at 5 minutes of a mouse being still. My thoughts are, if you wouldn't say it or show it to a kid, why post it on a public knitting site? Hm, well, a lot of the others wanted no censorship of any kind anywhere near them.

One person even said she never censors her children, ever. They're allowed to see whatever she lets them. Yeah, whatever SHE lets them. Let's review censor as a verb.

Main Entry: 2censor
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): cen·sored; cen·sor·ing \ˈsen(t)-sə-riŋ, ˈsen(t)s-riŋ\
Date: 1882
: to examine in order to suppress or delete anything considered objectionable ; also : to suppress or delete as objectionable

Oxford English:
• noun an official who examines material that is to be published and suppresses parts considered offensive or a threat to security.
verb suppress or remove unacceptable parts of (a book, film, etc.).
— DERIVATIVES censorship noun.
— ORIGIN Latin (denoting a magistrate in ancient Rome who held censuses and supervised public morals), from censere ‘assess’.

A lot of definitions for those who think Merriam-Webster's and Oxford's dictionaries aren't accurate. I've run into a lot of people who think this, by the way.

Do I believe in the Unites State's First Amendment in the Bill of Rights? Of course I do. I firmly believe "My blog, my rules" for everyone. I also happen to believe when in public, as in a public forum, respect others by not using vulgar language or posting pictures that is considered indecent exposure. Am I offended by such stuff? Not really, but I'm not wanting to see it, either. I'm pretty picky about who I want to see naked and know how and what to Google. Since I've been told if I don't like how they talk on the forums then stay away, I will.

I was called rude on the forums, and can't see how I was. No telling other people flat out they're wrong, no saying how bad their kids are going to be from the raising they're getting, nothing like that at all.

I've also been compared to mothers whose daughters are now strippers, whose daughters were pregnant at 15, and whose kids were wild with drugs, booze, and sex once away from home. All because I waited until Fry was 12 before intentionally telling her about the details about sex and letting her see pictures (medical book cross sections) of the male anatomy.

Things I'm not too keen on telling her right at the moment? The finer details of all the types of sex to have besides the male with female basic reproduction. (I'd list them, but the fetishers would be pissed at finding how dull this blog really is.) For some of the questions, I'll tell her that I'd rather wait until she's older, because I think it'll gross her out. She'll nag, I'll finally tell her, and she'll be grossed out and wished I hadn't told her. Now all I do is say, "Are you sure you really want to know this?" and she'll back off if she's not ready to be grossed out. I just think 12 years old is too young for some of the seedier parts of sex.

Because I think this, of course, I'm on Morality Mountain and want the world to be censored and sanitized so I don't have to do my job as a parent and watch out what my kid is exposed to. I'm trying to push off my job as a parent on the rest of the world and I'm warping her by keeping her ignorant with my own ignorant view.

Did they say all this to me? Yep. Can I prove it? I can but would rather not have to read all that again. Did I post that how they were raising their kids would cause their kids to be pregnant teenagers or addicts? Nope. I'm not there and don't have a crystal ball. Plus, I don't assume their point of view makes them a bad parent.

In other news: Easter and family fun, meaning, road trip with lots of knitting. We didn't get to stay long enough at anyone's house and we all miss our family already. Missed seeing our sisters and hope to make up for that soon. I'll have to post pictures of the Scalloped tee since it's coming along a lot faster than I'd thought. It's looking really cool. I'd started the eensiest bit of a Noro sock yarn sock, not even an inch's worth. It's on size 0us needles, which explains a lot.


ChelleC said...

Wow! Yes, those forums over Ravelry can get really heated - over anything. I really do believe they are more apt to erupt in a tizzy over very little. I'm inclined to post there less and less myself.

It sounds as if they've stereotyped you. If so, their loss.

Luckily, the pattern database on Ravelry make it worthwhile - otherwise, shesh!!!

Susan said...

I guess I've been lucky. I haven't run into that but I really don't read that much and I think the forums I'm on are pretty tame. I do love it for patterns and what to make them with.

Carol said...

OK..who are these people? I am going to go beat them up just on general principal. Who do they think they are anyway. Everyone has a right to their opinion but it is not necessary to get personal.

I think that is one reason I don't get into the forums and posting too much on Ravelry.

We all missed you Saturday. Nancy was here and said to tell you HI.

Sandy said...

Oh, Laura, this is awful. Remember that these people do not know you and somehow the anonymity makes people bolder to be rude.
Keep on being you!

Laura said...

Who's lucky? I am! I have the best friends. ::blush::

Hope said...

Due to some recent flare-ups over there, I began looking online for anyone else who had similar experiences. Even though your post is a bit dated, I can confirm for you that is has become an owner-sanctioned playground for what could be called trolls. They say 'open forums' I say it looks like a bad case of 'anything goes'. Shame, that.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race