Tuesday, November 19, 2002

Oh my gosh have I been bad. Sort of, anyway. Friday, I did my stint at the library for most of the day and ended up getting nothing at home done, nor did I do anything during the weekend. Total bum, probably because I'm fighting a cold. Everything shuts down when I'm sick because I so rarely catch anything.

The good thing is that Monday and today were very productive. I did everything, nearly, that I wanted to, only sacrificing knitting and writing to get things done around the house. The differences in the home are noticible. :)

In the meantime, I need to learn to let go of resentment and anger over the whole never getting paid by anyone who literally owes me. Just don't know how.....

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

Blah.

Blah blah blah

I got very little done yesterday. I made the beds, drank the lemon water crap, finished the wall hanging sets, and did the wall hanging class. Everyone had a good time, even though everyone didn't participate, and I sold a few sets. One lady bought three sets as Christmas gifts and I said it was fine to just mail me a check.

Later, I realized, if I can't count on my BEST FRIEND to pay me $25 of the $1000+ she owes, how can I count on a stranger paying me $30?

Stupid is not knowing any better, idiot is when you do know better and go ahead anyway. I'm such a moron.

Anyway, by the time the class had ended, I'd taken four Midrin and one little 'new' painkiller that really doesn't work. The Midrin worked fine, but the stuff leaves me groggy. It's why after everyone got home, we went to our local grocery store for their open house (free snacks and they were GOOD), then home where the only thing I did was knit on my child's mittens.

The one thing I did do on Monday was stop by the pharmacy, a VERY good idea. After that, we went to eat at the Golden Corral where the diet died a quiet death for the night, and we stopped by HD for plumber's putty.

The sink is now fixed. No leaks!!!! Plus, I have a new garbage disposal that really works!


Yesterday, I made a couple of apple crisps. Miss V wanted to make me a fruit plate where she cuts up any fruit in the house, and ended up slicing an entire bag of apples. I had my head on an ice pack until hubs got home, smelled apples, and lo, there were apples. I cut them up a little more and did the oats, sugar, flour and butter thing. We ate some after the grocery party, then watched a movie (the headaches destroy my memory, oh wait, it was Cheech and Chong and I still wonder what's so funny about them...), while I knitted on child's mittens. She doesn't want me to buy any for her, she wants to wait until I finish hers. So, that's what I'm doing.

Before classtime, and since I was in the area, I went to a yarn store in Independence. I found the most delicious mohair yarn that was just beautiful. It'll make a fantastic lace shawl for my Mom, but that's not what she's getting for Christmas, just in case she's reading this. :D I really must allocate tons of time for the Christmas gifts, and I'd like to get them done by December 15th for mailing. That leaves me a month, which isn't really very long, yarnwise. :(

Since I've been a bum today and yesterday, getting nearly nothing done, (especially today with the groggy and still headachy feeling) I'm just cutting and pasting the Monday's list to go by. Right now, I'm downloading some Sims stuff for fun, but I'm not playing Sims until I get all of the below finished.

Concerning diet, Monday bad diet day, Tuesday ate very little due to Midrin, today had no carbs and stuck to diet. Have lost 0 lbs since Friday.

Today's List:
The usual with added Wednesday tasks:

Food (low fat low carb to get to low weight, doing good so far today)
Make beds
Pick up clothes
Hang up clothes
Dishes and counter
Lemon water
80 oz water
Stretch
Vacuum
30 mins of aerobics (this makes my head pound and I'm not so sure I want to do this)
Evening face and tooth maint

Leftovers from the weekend:
Clean out linen closet
Oil change
Vacuum the car
Put together dresser in V's room
Put away the other clothes
Plant new bulbs
Dishes during the day
Dust better
Iron clothes
Read Plainsong for United We Read program tomorrow
Talk to sister about watching the child during hub's Christmas party.

Monday, November 11, 2002

Ok, Saturday and Sunday.

I know I did something, just don't remember what. ;)

Taking by the previous paragraphs.....

Finished one of Mom's mittens, started on my kid's because they're smaller and the child keeps getting the sniffles. If I don't get them done today or tomorrow, I'm just buying her a pair and saying to heck with it. I did get her to clean up her room and I vacuumed it today.

I didn't get anything but the usual dishes, then cleaning sinks, tubs, toilets, and mirrors because the garbage disposal had been leaking since the 'spoon' incident. Went to Home Depot to get disposal, installed it, the other sink's drain just 'fell' off, I kid you not. So back to HD, tried to install new pipe, wrong size, went back to HD and tried again. By this time, it was Sunday (it all started on Saturday) and the sink still leaks at the drain. So, I'm going back sometime this afternoon after cutting my wallhanging fabric for tomorrow's 2:00pm class and before Small Fry comes home.

I did wash the car, but ran out of quarters so I had to come home to rinse it. I transplanted my roses like I'd wanted from the patch in the middle of the yard, also dug up the flags' bulbs. Still need to plant my new bulbs, but at least I'd bought potting soil for the movable containers I want to plant them in. Michael's is next to Home Depot (yes, I live in a perfect world.) and I bought little baskets for the bathroom. We put our 'used' daily items in those to keep them in order.

Husband fixed dinner on Saturday (I was in a mood after my third HD trip), and my sister came over to fix chicken and dumplings (some of which I'll eat today, lucky me). It was fab. One of the sinks is working, so I can still do dishes. :D

I have a tough time crossing things off like "clean the car" or "vaccum" because if I didn't do EVERYTHING (see below's diatribe) for the car, or get every inch of carpet in the home clean, I don't feel like those things can be called done. The good thing is that they are reoccurring, so I can do more the next day that task comes around.

I'd missed vacuuming on Saturday so I did that this morning and did every floor possible. :D Very cool. Also did some dusting, but didn't get obsessive, just brushed spider webs. Already did the lemon water and made the bed, yay, plus, I'd missed cleaning the basement's bathroom, so I took care of that, too. Since then, I've been cutting fabric for class mentioned earlier.

The omelette was hideous, didn't eat that, diet was out of whack, being good some hours, not so good others. Today is great so far, not a single carb in the bunch. :)

Today's List:
The usual
:
Food (yada yada yada, low fat low carb to get to low weight)
Make beds (did one, one to go)
Pick up clothes (done)
Hang up clothes (done)
Dishes and counter (done for now)
Lemon water (done)
80 oz water (doing)
Stretch (at this point I'd settle for once a day since the morning and evening isn't working out)
30 mins of aerobics (crap, forgot about this today, I think I may pop in a dance CD and the kid and I can groove out for 30 mins)
Evening face and tooth maint (didn't do this at all over the weekend, MUST do tonight)

Leftovers from the weekend:
Finish wallhangings
Clean out linen closet (to fit in blankets)
Oil change
Vacuum the car (inside our garage and I have to 'modify' the Kirby)
Fix sink (another HD trip)
Put together dresser in V's room
Put away the other clothes
Plant new bulbs
Dishes during the day
Dust better
Get trash ready for pickup
Iron clothes (I'd settle for just a few shirts, there's closetfuls of clothes to do)
Read Plainsong for United We Read program on Thursday
Talk to sister about watching the child during hub's Christmas party.
Get various migraine prescriptions filled just in case I get a headache.

I did happen to make out my gift list for Christmas, and have nearly everything picked out.. :D


From using my hands as a pipe wrench, plus digging up the rosebushes, my hands ache. The cutting fabric thing isn't doing wonders for me, either. Everything else is fine, but this post is going to be short because each letter here is a little ow ow ow. :D It'll be fun tomorrow just to see how much I get done.

P. S. Knitting hurts a tad, but not much or enough to keep me from the yarn. :D

Saturday, November 09, 2002

Yesterday, I did everything but both stretches (just did one), missed breakfast and lunch, only did 20 mins of aerobics, drank only 30 oz of water, and didn't make the bed until bedtime. I also didn't water the plants, clean or change the oil in the car, or do the dresser drawer changeout in the child's room. (she needs to clean her room, first, it's too messy to move in.) I did catch the Bonus Treks, but worked on Mom's mittens instead of the wall hangings. Didn't do the evening face maint or retainers, but I did do the retainers while working out and did the face maint while showering. It doesn't 'count' because it wasn't set up for overnight, but oh well, it was in there somewhere.

I went grocery shopping for the week and it took a lot longer than I'd thought. It was because I stopped at the dollar store just to see what they have. They had a lot. :D Tons of Christmas wrap and decor. I didn't get any, because we have enough from the clearance sales from last year. I'm thinking about inviting my sis and her pal over for a wrapping party, since we have enough to go around. At the grocer, I found bulbs on sale, so the small fry and I are going to plant those today.

Cool thing, the guy who bought candy from the child's fundraiser came by and picked up his order. Yay! because I'm truly postally impaired and he lives way out of town. It's something about mailing things, the females in my family can't seem to do. Really odd. Anyway, I think I convinced him to start a blog to help him with his goals, since mine here is actually working for me. The hubs can see a difference in the house due to my following these goals.

How I came up with 'the list'
I've been trying to get myself organized most of my life. I have at least five books on getting your life in order and how to keep your life clean and trouble free. You see, I'm what is called a covert perfectionist. The overt ones, you already know about, they're the perfect appearing people who's cars, homes, and personal selves are, well, perfect. I and other coverts are tough to spot because (to us) we look like lazy slobs when really, it's something different. The innate desire to do everything perfect is overwhelming.

When you look at your car, especially if you've let it go, cleanwise, cleaning your car is a huge task taking most of the day. To a covert, looking at it and knowing that after getting rid of the trash, sorting the kid papers, your papers, cleaning out the trunk and arranging (sp?) the trunk items, cleaning out the glove box and maybe console, then you can really clean the inside. This means deeply vacuuming the floorboard, mats, (probably shampooing them, too) and the seats and cracks in the seats themselves. After that, it's wiping everything with a wet cloth, then dry cloth, then some sort of Armor all. Then the inside windows. Just Windex(c) them, then wipe with a dry cloth. For me, once the inside is clean, then I can do the outside. Quick wash, then deep wash, then spot-free rinse, then clean the tires and hubcaps. Wipe down the car, again Windexing the outside windows (be sure to wipe them down with a dry cloth). Then, you can wax the car. Since I usually run out of time by now, I've only waxed one car in my life, and really don't know how often a person should do this. Just cleaning the car, though, should be done no less than once a week. If I could adhere to that, I know that keeping it clean would be easy, I just need to start it. The car is one example, though. If you look at everything in your life in that 'It MUST be done completely and correctly", it's exhausting just thinking about what needs to be done. Very often, I have to tell myself to just get it done halfway and it'll be better than it is now. Expecially in the kitchen, because really, the cabinets need to be reorgainized (I've been sloppy, not putting my Glad(c) lids in size order for easy access and the glasses are not in size order, nor is my pantry the least bit organized) and lemon oiled. I've had to put that aside in favor of other things. :P


Anyway, onward to the realistic list for today. :D


Today's list:
The usual:

Morning Stretch (gonna have to do this one, the 20 mins of walking at the gym left my walking muscles sore. :P)
24-32 oz of warm lemon water (you know what I mean by now. and yes, I did do this yesterday after all. )
Breakfast of fruit or egg white omlette (I'm actually doing this one as soon as I'm done here!)
Lunch-greens with small protein
Dinner-protein with greens
Make beds (my daughter's bed needs cleaning off before I can even put the sheets on)
Pick up dirty clothes
Hang up clean clothes (back to the chest of drawers in kid's room again)
Dishes, counters, and stove (I'm discovering this has to be done every two hours, does NOT make me happy)
Drink 80 oz of water (wishing Diet Pepsi counted, but it doesn't)
Evening face and teeth maint
Evening stretch

Saturday specific activities:
Vacuum
Clean sinks and tubs
Clean toilets and mirrors (oh yay)
Dust (even more yay)
Laundry (ha! I'm ahead already, I maybe have enough for one small load and that's IT.)
Wash sheets (I did that a couple of days ago, will wait until next Saturday)
Vacuum stairs (I don't care for this since I have to use attachments on the Kirby)

On the vacuuming thing, when I list vacuum, it really means the entire house. That means lugging the Kirby to the second floor, and then down to the basement. Not easy. Right now when I vacuum, it means the main floor because I don't have everything picked up off the floor upstairs and I don't drag the Kirby to the basement very often.

Other tasks.
These may not be all done today and may be reassigned to tomorrow. I prefer today, but...sometimes it's a lost cause.
Water indoor plants
Plant bulbs
Clean out car and oil change
Finish wallhangings
Dresser drawers (change out in child's room)
Mail letter of cute child drawings to Mom and Dad
Clean out linen closet (so the towels and blankets will fit properly. also, we have twin sheets up there and not a twin bed in the house. go figure)
Transplant rosebushes

I think I've typed enough of a novel for today. The butter for the omlettes are melted and the child is hungry, so, off I go to see just how much I can accomplish today. :D

Friday, November 08, 2002

Oh gosh, where to start? Sure, there's an update on yesterday's to do, but I also want to rant.

Update.
Did the vacuuming in the kitchen!! (I finally looked up that word!)Yay! I really have to do the rest of the house, but to be honest, my lower back started hurting again. Last June, I was in so much pain from this, I could barely walk, couldn't sit or stand, for the entire month. It was horrible. I mean, I claim to be a slug, but as soon as I have to slow down or stop, I relearn how much I do. Even if it is non-essential. :D

Ok, the warm water with lemon isn't working out for today. I'm having a second cup of instant coffee instead. Yesterday, it was 1:00pm before I finished the lemon water, and so, I didn't get the full 80 oz worked in. Not only did I get the Other things done, (took two hours and an extensive search to find Ameet's tape and now I know where everything is in the house) I got almost everything else done as well. :)

It seems I fall down the most in personal care. No stretching, no working out, but then, no crazed Halloween candy binges, either. The only bad thing I did was each some fajita chili mac, with 'mac' being the bad carb word. You see, for eaons, I followed the low-fat way of life, literally keeping my fat grams below 20 on an average day. In an effort to lose weight since I'm considered borderline obese on the charts,(I'm 5'3", wear a size 12 on a really 'fat' day, and weigh 160-165) for four months I followed a low-fat 1500 calorie a day diet AND worked out no less than three times a week with 30-45 minutes of aerobics (target heart rate 145, a little high for my age, but I needed the workout) and another hour of weight training (free weights). I was at 160 when I started and in four months gained another 5 pounds. Yeah, it was muscle, but still, it edged me ever closer to obesity. This was very discouraging. Even when I went off the diet, my weight didn't change.

So how did I manage to lose 10 pounds in two weeks and keep it off until the "Halloween" incident? Atkins. I know, it's got a bad rap because of the beginning's requirement of less than 20 carbs a day for two weeks. It works, and helps to break your sugar craving. Don't think you have one? You'd be surprised. I dare you, if you don't think you need sugar but are eating potatoes, rice, and bread, to go a week without eating any sugar. Think that you can throw out your sugar bowl and call it good? Nope! Ketchup, salad dressings, coffees (mine is black and near esspresso) and teas, plus a lot of other things have sugar in their list of ingredients. I would say give up bread, because that does have tons of carbs and no redeeming value. If you're not wanting to deviate from the pyramid, eat something like Grapenuts for breakfast, whole wheat crackers with lunch, and brown rice or whole wheat pasta with your three squares.

This is turning into the health post. Anyway, I didn't do the face thing or the retainers thing. Since small fry is back at school (I'm going to call and make sure she's fine as soon as I'm done here), I want to clean up myself and go work out. I'm soooo out of shape. Our nearby Bally's closed last spring, I'd signed up for a new gym in May, but couldn't even drive there until July. :P (back pain, remember?) I'm not a wimp about pain, too much, since I'd had a kidney stone a while back and thought it hurt a little, but not unbearable. I was more afraid it was my appendix because it did hurt, was a new pain, and in that general area.

Plus, I'm achy from all the house cleaning. (thinking I'm going to let the manic cat out of the bag) After I posted here yesterday, I started cleaning and didn't really stop until 11:00pm when my hubs got home from class. (it's SQL sys admin) I washed the sheets, made the bed (at 9:00pm, just in time for bed, ::snicker::), did dishes, laundry (my sister's since there's only a couple of loads and mine was done). The fun part of the day was cleaning out the guinea pig's cage and then cleaning her. :D My child and I ran some water in her bathtub (the child's tub, not the pig's) and let her swim. There was a shallow end, and little Squeeky would swim out to the deeper end.

We didn't do the Monopoly game, but did install it here on the computer in the kitchen. Nickelodeon and computer games, does it get much better than that for a 7 yr old?

The child wants mittens. The child doesn't want to buy mittens but wants me to make them. Since child has had fever (yesterday) but still plays outside for recess, mittens for child has moved to the front of the 'knitting projects' queue. I'm dying to knit, since I didn't get to do a stitch yesterday.

Oh oh oh! I'm teaching a class on Quilted Christmas Wallhangings and have 9 people signed up! Isn't that cool?! It's my first class to teach in this, and I'd only prepared 10 kits, plus one for me to do. I'm going to set aside 2 hours, the length of the class, and see if I can stitch it up in that amount of time. It's a crazy quilted picture of a snowman. I didn't even think of doing an instruction sheet, but will have to do that soon.

Ok, since this is a long-assed post, I'm going to go ahead and type out all of Friday's daily tasks as a refresher.
Friday
Morning stretch
24-32 oz of warm water with .5 fresh lemon juice (don't want to, but will probably drink this out of guilt for trying to skip this)
Breakfast of fruit serving or egg white omlette (will probably skip breakfast, rather shower and go work out)
Lunch-greens with a little bit of protein (rethinking that breakfast idea, since typing lunch made my tummy growl)

I need to add that whenever I go over say, 50 carbs in a day, I wake up starving and tummy hurting from hunger the next day. Odd, because if I eat the same amount of food the day before but keep my carbs below 50, I just don't get as painfully hungry.

Snack of veggies (probably won't do this, since I'd have to go to the grocery store for fresh ones and I'm just not in the mood to run in for just one item)
Make beds
Pick up dirty clothes
Hang up clean clothes
Do dishes, wipe counters and stovetop
30 mins of aerobics (I do need to start out slow since it's been a while. this doesn't make me happy, but doing something is better than nothing, I suppose)
Grocery shop for the week (crap. disreguard the veggie excuse. I need more dish soap, anyway)
Clean Squeeky's cage (Done yesterday!!! woo hoo!! I'm ahead in one thing!!!)
Drink 80 oz of water (not tough because I plan on sweating it out. :D)
Evening stretch
Evening face and tooth maint.



Other things:
You know, this is Friday, and even though I was 'out' on Mon and Tues due to migraine, I really don't want to do anything but knit and watch movies. I do both at the same time because the knitting is fun and hearing dialogue helps with my screenwriting abilities. All movies start out as written words, so it helps to turn off the visual and really listen.

The thing is, these two careers are so much fun, I put them off until the crap jobs are done.

That being said, I have a hardcopy of my list excerpted here, that goes on the fridge. I need to make up a new one, adding plant care and car maintenance since the spider plants are looking peaked and I'm overdue on an oilchange.

The 'official' other list, then:
Water plants
Clean out car, possible oil change after working out.
I'd really like to get the broken chest of drawers out of child's room and put together the new one ($30, new, at Kmart, less than the thrift stores were charging!!) Don't know if I'll do that today, but would like to, just to get all the freshly folded clothes put away.
Work on quilted wall hangings while watching Friday Night Bonus Treks on the new TNN
Deposit miscellaneous checks from car payment (we sold, he pays), state of MO, and hub's birthday money (was Nov 5, he was in class, we will celebrate this weekend)

Forgot to rant! :D Here's the topic: Homeless person(s) have blog and websites with added features that paying blog customers get. Yeah, the computer is at the library, but still, they're homeless and yet still PAYING to blog? The added features mean that much to them? Me personally, I am more than happy to have ads here and on my Geocities homepage if it means I can live in a nice home. (the home is 2600 sq feet. since I'm still training the rest of the family to pick up their clothes, trash, and dirty dishes, the cleaning falls to me. everyone else is at school or work during the day, so I'm more than happy to do this, but if it's not in the sink, hamper, or garbage can, I don't know it needs my attention. this also explains my constant cleaning.) Um, sorry, that's ANOTHER rant. Anyway, here they are paying, asking for donations. I guess it bugs me to be asked to give money to someone else. I know they really need it, and some part of me feels sympathy, but honestly, we get at least 3-6 telemarketing calls a day, junk mail from charities asking for our money, and then of course the normal bills. The bottom line is I don't want to be asked to send money to support a homeless persons PAY website when I don't feel I can afford my own.

That being said, I probably could spring for a pay site, but that would mean less money for yarn, which means less knitted items, which means less profits in my designer knitwear business.

Gad! It's 10:40am already! Thanks for reading and catch you tomorrow.

Thursday, November 07, 2002

Hey, I did great yesterday! Not perfect, but pretty darn close. The breakfast, lunch, and dinner didn't go exactly to plan, but still, I stuck to the lean and resisted the huge bowl of Halloween candy. Plus, I did drink all that water and did everything but the evening stretch, the face and tooth maint before bed (I'd done that earlier in the day so it didn't count) and didn't get a chance to vacuum (must look up that word).

The same list applies from yesterday, just minus the carpet thing (avoiding vacuu.. vacumne... vacsomething) because I should have done that yesterday (will do today instead) and adding in the 30 mins of aerobics and weight training at the gym.

The bad thing is, the gym is a no-go today. My child (1st grader) is home today with a fever. I promised her a Monopoly game, so that means I must vacu the floor (I know, I'm obsessing, but I'd spent an entire day steamcleaning here in the kitchen and I want to keep it clean).

Oop. I forgot, I didn't make the beds. Completely forgot it, and besides, the sheets need washing. Will do that today, as well

Other things not on the list:
Find Ameet's tape, watch, and return (he's a fab video editor)
Mail Amex payment TODAY (ick)
Mail Family Readiness Group rembursement (worth 120 bucks)

Planning ahead:
Christmas.
Every year, we have fruitcakes sent to aunts, uncles (that doesn't look right), and sisters (neither hubs or I have brothers). I know, fruitcakes have a bad rap, but imagine a cinnamon-spiced, moist cake with chunks of fruits and nuts. In the homes we've surveyed, it's a fight and the cake doesn't last two days. So, that's going out this year again.
Plus, I have my own business, designing and making custom knits and wearable art. You can guess that everyone is getting something handknit this year. It'll be something personal, ie their favorite color, but not cutesy, like bears and bunnies on a background of country blue. I'm knitting like a fiend, since everything will have to be mailed this year. :P

Since I have a couple of things to do today, I'll sign off, finish checking email, and get busy. :)

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

Ok, the promised todo list:
Wednesday
Morning Stretch
24-32oz warm water with .5 fresh lemon juice (heard this was better than coffee at waking you up, ick)
Breakfast of an egg white omlette (must find clean frying pan)
Lunch - greens with tiny bit of protein of choice.
Dinner - lean meat with greens
Make beds
Pick up dirty clothes
Hang up washed clothes
Do dishes, wipe counters and stovetop
Drink 80 oz of water in course of the day
Evening face and tooth maintenance (was just 'sarcasm-ed' by orthodontist about retainers, trying not to think of him as supreme jerk)
Evening stretch
Vacuum (one of those words I can't spell) floors and spot clean with carpet cleaner machine.

On Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, I add 30 minuts of aerobics for all four days, and for two days of them, I weight train.
On weekends, I've added cleaning bathrooms, dusting, washing sheets and other laundry, plus cleaning out the animals (cat and guinea pig) poo.

Now, I'm not saying I do none of the above, because of course I do, but if I did ALL of the above, I'd be a lot closer to perfection. To be brutally honest, I don't clean every day, other than doing dishes and fixing meals, plus, I do none of the healthy stuff like working out and eating correctly. Thus, the need for accountability and goals.
What's today, Nov 6th? Gad, six days in and I've already ruined the month. You see, I volunteer at my child's library and this month, I'm listed twice to help. Usually, it's at the middle of the month, but this time, it was Nov 1, which I didn't show up for. (ending preposition? bad! bad!)

Plus, the librarian is one of those who is 10 months pregnant but is still as slim as a supermodel and is uber(super) organized and also looks like she keeps a hair and makeup person stashed in her luxurious master bathroom. You know, the one with the gold fixtures and 3 piece string orchestra. Anyway, I show up looking like some Monty Python's ratbag, this after an hour of applying makeup, wondering where I went wrong in life.... Now she truly knows what a major f***up I am by my not being there on my assigned day. I know, one mistake does not a loser make, but still, it's just one of a never ending stream of crap. (Hmmm BAD mental image with THAT one....must edit later)

Which leads to this blog. I have an amazing lack of self-discipline (I totally blame The Sims), am THE laziest person on Earth, yet have this drive to be perfect just so I don't get that inferior-trash-worthless feeling and treatment from others (I have examples). If I'm publicly accountable for my actions, if I know that one other person knows that I didn't do what I needed to, maybe that will propel me in the right direction. I'm going to wander around this site and put up my tasklist for today, somewhere.....

Slow and Steady Wins the Race