Tuesday, January 10, 2006

WIPs, and snarky celebrity observations

The works in progress: The white lace is Seascapes knitted in Merino lace (in case no one wants to go to my archives) and satisfies not only the Summer of Lace button on the left, but also the Guilt as well. Nice, huh? A two-fer. Then, the striped sock is almost done and fits the Jaywalker button. The yarn is Moda Dea's Lucky. Lastly on the knit-a-longs is the cuff of a mitten. I've discovered that fair isle is not my strong point. Neither is keeping my attention on counting, which is why the cuff is only a cuff. The grey will be a sweater someday, ladies medium. It's in Lion Brand's discontinued Alpaca, which is apropos for me.

Yesterday was busy AND lazy. Fry was home sick for the day. She won't take naps on sick days, which is what she needs. So, I'll con her into laying down in our bed so she and I can torture the cat when he jumps up. When she's sick or tired, she'll fall asleep, then I can get up and finish my daily duties. Ha. Let's just say I had a couple of really good naps. The furnace and a/c guy came over and installed a new circuit board, so now we do have heat. Yay, since freezing pipes are always bad. After a chicken soup lunch, cleaning house to a company clean for one of Hub's friends in the evening. A mad dash to Fry's employer to turn in her newspaper collections, then to the grocery store for orange juice. The friend left, we had dinner, and by the time I was able to knit, it was 9:30pm. I know, I know. So sad. ;) People are about to cry for me, I can tell.

Fry and I did hatch up an ingenious prank on her Aunt Toppa. The said Aunt has THE most adorable little kitten, one of THE smallest I've ever seen. It's stuffed animal small, I tell ya. What I'm wanting to do is get one of those little stuffed kittens from the store, subversively take out the stuffing and attach the remainder to the bottom of my shoe. Then, Fry can hide Toppa's kitty and I can walk around with the fake cat squished and clinging like toilet paper to my sole. Fry and I had tears in our eyes from laughing over the shrieks this would cause.

Things/People I hate:
Jessica Simpson-I'm sick of her in a way I've never been sick of Britney. Actually, Brit is pretty fun since her descent into white-trashdom. Why Jessica? Besides the odd plastic surgery look of her, it's her smile. Try this, smile in a huge way, then open your mouth at least two inches. Is that anywhere near natural? No, it's freaky and weird.

Oprah-What do you call hosting a dinner and awards party where only one specific gender and race are invited? Um hmmmm, sexism and racism comes in all genders and colors. No one is immune.

Ellen Degeneres-For some reason, I shriek and flip the channel when her show comes on. Am I anti-lesbian? Not so much as anti-unfunny humor.

Eva Longoria and Teri Hatcher-Did you know that they are NOT the only skinny and beautiful women in the world? Seriously. I'd like the media to give them and Angelina a break already.

Howard Stern-Freely cursing, having naked women in his radio booth, and being an ass in general makes him entertaining? Or even news? Didn't he peak like, 20 years ago?

Reality TV-They have scripts and editors. It's not real. Not interesting, either.

That blonde spokeschick for Success Meals-She's a watered down Pamela Anderson. Still, when she tells you that "Success Meals just makes sense," she turns her head to the side with her forehead tilted forward. Note to the gal: Nope, I still don't think you're telling me the truth. It's tiny, overpriced meals. Sorry.

Colin Farrell-Male or female, a slut is a slut is a slut.

Jennifer Aniston-I don't hate her so much as I don't see what everyone else does in her. Same with Sarah Jessica Parker. Pretty? Talented? Nope, don't get it.

Things I should hate:

Cops-It's reality TV, but they leave in all the stupid bits. It's best when it's bad.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit-Honestly. How many hours should a person watch a tv show before getting sick of it? Obviously, I've not hit the mark for this.

British Comedy-Speaking of hours watched... Most Americans don't get it, and when I try to explain anything funny on a Britcom, I'll get blank stares. Most of my family members get British humor, thankfully. :)

Nash Bridges-I know. The show is stupid as heck, but still, it's a guilty pleasure. I'll catch it when it's on, but not go out of my way.

California Court Cases-Another should as in, I should be sick of Scott and OJ, but am not. After seeing the DNA evidence portion of the hearing back when I was on maternity leave, OJ left far and away more physical evidence than Scott ever did. Color has nothing to do with it, blood evidence isn't discriminating.

Dr Phil-I'm not crazy about him, but most times he does make sense. He can be a bit of a butthead, but most times, I think he's on the money.

Coats and Clarks yarns-If I were a yarn snob, nothing these people made would be in my house. While I'm not keen on the eyelash yarns, anything else has a purpose. I love the better stuff, of course, but if it's a decent color and feel, it's on my order list.

Speaking of yarn, and that subject should be on the "Things I Should If Not Hate Then At Least Don't Obssess Over" list, I received my order from the Yarn Barn yesterday. It's not the one in Lawrence, KS, but somewhere else entirely. They're fast and the shipping is very reasonable. It's going to be tough to resist ordering from them. :D

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Slow and Steady Wins the Race