Thursday, August 25, 2005

Isn't THAT special?

So, is this what a GOOD Christian really thinks when given a forum to blather in???

He didn't mean KILL the guy, just kidnap him. Which, and I could be wrong, is still a FEDERAL offense.

Speaking of blather, I've got some of my own.

Lemon has a new battery. Didn't I just DO that? Gah. What did Hub's friend Bill tell me about my guy's seedy past? Two things! 1. That an enlisted cousin of Hub's saw him in Germany and Hubs took the kid to a whorehouse. Right. Quoting Bill quoting Hub, "I'm an officer, he's enlisted, not an option." That really DOES sound exactly like something Hubby says. The whole taking a kid to a whorehouse is silly, since everyone who REALLY knows the guy knows my Hubs is waaaay too cheap to actually spend money for sex. He's too nice looking to actually have to pay someone. That, and he takes the whole 'officer and a gentleman' VERY seriously.

And that leads us to #2. Bill's wife and he had set up Hubs with a cousin or something of theirs and Hubs wasn't interested. I'm sure my beloved had his reasons, but Bill thinks it was because she tried to push him into a relationship and that Hubs doesn't like aggressive or 'wild' women. Riiiight. Honestly, this is so funny on a lot of levels. Hubs is a force of nature when it comes to desire, physical or mental. If he wants or doesn't want something, that is the way it will be. I've tried to alter the course of his events to no avail. So if he's decided that a certain woman would not fit into his life plan, he won't waste his time having sex with someone he'll have to 'lose' in case the right one comes along. He's very linear, which can be very good. I've been known to use his power for my own good, like at the DMV...

Then, the wild and agressive comment. Tough time in not guffawing to that one. I mean, I've only read every single Cosmo from 1982-1995. With that and the Kama Sutra, even if I've never done it, I probably know about it. I'm thinking Bill really meant pushy versus aggressive, since Hubs has no complaints with my forcefullness.

Did you know that if you encourage your parents to scratch in the VIN number on a small boat you bought them, and they are thought to be thieves, they could be sent up the river for real? Two to ten years, I didn't know. Good thing my Mom has this honesty hangup that everyone else around here seems to have, too. I bought the 'rents the thing, if they wanted to use it for firewood, heck, why not? They have the actual boat that I paid actual money for, they have the bill of sale, AND a piece of paper that has the VIN on it, so who would blame them if some sort of, I dunno, ice pick, maybe, happened to scratch out a bit of a number to replace the original tape that has the very faded number on it.

This is why I'm not a thief or politician. I ramble when I lie and my loved ones can see my fibs a mile off. Forced to be an honest person. Ain't that crap?

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Slow and Steady Wins the Race